Wishing for my Willpower

During the course of my diet people would say to me I wish I had your willpower to  stick to a diet I found this a very weak and defeatist statement to make and why were these people belittling themselves when in fact willpower lives and breathes within in us all  a state of consciousness when properly utilised can help us to to become the best version of ourselves in any area of our life or all of it our willpower is usually hidden under many things positive and negative in nature usually our needs the things that make this life more bearable such as food alcohol cigarettes drugs relationships a job that drains us a toxic relationship how we see ourselves in our world and how we fit into our world our fears and anxieties and what we use to salve our emotions to deal with life whilst thinking about writing this blog I realised that willpower is in all things that we do  from our waking moment until we sleep we just cover it with lots of other things which really impedes or stops dead our freewill to use our natural God given willpower

We just really need to reprogram ourselves to look at what we really truly need and let go of the things that impede or stop us reaching inner peace or desired goals no matter what they maybe people places thoughts and emotions if they no longer serve us for our greater good and life they must go  I have realised I have hit on a massive subject of which scientists and philosophers have researched over centuries I can only speak from my own experience along my pathway of life and the teachings of spirit so please you the reader do not look at this blog as a piece of academic work this blog is purely from my own experience and discoveries of self that I will be sharing with you I will endeavour to make this blog as helpful as possible and hope you the reader will gain something from it to utilise and reboot your in built willpower and use it towards your inner peace and desired goals


On reflection I realise it was not only the threat of more serious illness and worsening diabetes that motivated me and helped me to find my willpower from 2011 – 2016 I had been dieting on and off without any success but my way of thinking at the time was really suppressing my willpower the guilt that I had failed another diet the thoughts that it did not really matter as I was in my mid 50’s my pulling the ladies days were over my absence of teeth and my impotence made me feel useless   my aches and pains and tiredness were just ageing but putting all these things together they were suppressing my willpower

You may find this hard to believe but when diagnosed with Diabetes 2 I was in the best place mentally and emotionally than I had been for years after my last relationship ended in 2010 I was a mess mentally and emotionally and drinking heavily but realised soon after that I had got my life back which is a great gift and it was up to me to create the best life I could for myself and started the long process of letting go of my anger learning to love myself and opening my heart and living and speaking my truth through an open heart I was to wrapped up in what I used to be a serving medium doing around 100 services a year plus teaching and touring Spiritualist Churches in South Wales a lot of people back in the the day used to call me the peoples medium because of my down to earth approach whilst demonstrating on platform a fact I am very proud of to this day and it made me very angry that I couldn’t go back to it and just pick up where I left off its a very true saying amongst platform mediums that your as good as your last service


Slowly but surely the realisation came that it does not really matter what I used to do in the past all that matters is what I’m doing now and what I’m doing to create a better tomorrow so I focussed on my mental and emotional state forgiving myself and others for bad deeds done my good friend Jane Goodman kept telling me I have a beautiful heart so I put my best foot forward and decided to be truly myself anyone who knows me knows that I’m truly a big softy and that I am giving and helpful as I had cut way back on my drinking it made my thinking that much clearer and was much easier to be truly who I am without my mind being shrouded by the thick fog of alcohol and gradually my mediumship started to improve meditation helped me to become more at peace with myself and give me the drive to become a better mental and emotional version of myself I was making friends I had also started teaching mediumship in a general development circle at Woking Spiritualist Church as I told the students in that circle I have made all the mistakes I am just helping you not to make them I had created a website for my mediumship and was doing a few more platform demonstrations of mediumship that is enough about my mediumship for now although I do feel drawn to write a blog about my spiritual journey in the future

I was diagnosed with Diabetes 2 on 07/04/16 although this was a shock  my Spirit Guides were telling me I had Diabetes I kept an open mind on it but hoping I didn’t have diabetes the doctor and nurse told me in no uncertain terms if I did not do the work necessary to improve my health and wellbeing my health would deteriorate greatly and possibly an early death me and my closest friend Marina Rawlings had been talking and making plans about travelling together seeing historical sites and seeing the world the thought of being to ill to travel was totally unacceptable or to die before my spiritual service on this earth was fulfilled was totally unacceptable to me I decided it was a straight fight between me and Diabetes 2 and thus my willpower was re ignited and had come alive again I am so glad that my mental and emotional state had improved as I am sure if I had not took the steps to improve my mental and emotional state the state of inertia that I was in coupled with diabetes 2 my health would have deteriorated greatly but now I had reasons to live and sure as hell Diabetes 2 was not going to stand in my way I now realise I had got rid of all the rubbish that covered my willpower and held me back in life


Apart from losing weight my diet gave me some realisations the biggest one being dieting is about self care not self denial or battling hunger until your next meal when you truly realise you are actually caring for yourself through diet dieting becomes that much easier and believe it or not I gradually found dieting to be a pleasure rather than a chore as I was improving my health and wellbeing I will share my realisations with you as they all promote strong and powerful willpower

1, Positive balances Negative in our universe we are greatly effected by our environment as to how we feel inside and what decisions that we make by our work and relationships and so on if we feel low we are more likely to eat unhealthy food because for a time it makes us feel better for a short time but in reality we are piling on the pounds and polluting our bodies so we must balance negative thoughts and emotions with positive thoughts and emotions for example you hate your job instead of hating your job look at it as a means of paying your bills so you can live in a material world count our blessings as there are many that are far worse off than us I know thinking like this certainly cheers me up if you have had a bad day don’t moan and gripe about it and reach for the dairy milk chocolate or wine think how you could have improved your day think that tomorrow is a blank page I have the opportunity and the power of creation to make it a good day meditate step into the moment because there is truly peace all around us take a hot shower and visualise washing all that negativity down the plug hole

2, Craving food I know from past experience cravings for our favourite food can be terrible there is something that is known as state dependant learning I picked this little gem up from my behavioural neuro pharmacologist ex wife it is quite simply our brain and body has got used to what we put into it and the amounts we put into it and when we lessen the amount our brain and body starts to crave that amount of food alcohol cigarettes or drugs we put into it know when you start to diet the cravings will be fierce but as time goes by they will become less and less know that and your willpower will be strong do not fear or succumb to your cravings they will become less just be determined enough to see it through

3, A little mental trick I used to use and still do at times whilst shopping I would see the foods I loved such as cheese white bread sausages chocolate and  pies and knew they were harmful to my diet and harmful to me with my diabetes so I would just imagine a skull and crossbones on them and walk by this helped me stay on the straight and narrow and thinking about it it was a mental tool for turning a negative into a positive and helped me beat my cravings thus promoting my willpower

4, Set yourself goals thinking about all the weight you need to lose can seem an insurmountable task I set myself half stone targets which were far easier to reach than thinking of the whole 4 stone target I originally set for myself be determined be stubborn with yourself if necessary as there is always someone who will want you to have dessert or a chip sandwich saying this once wont hurt but I let nothing detract me from my next half stone target as it would slow my progress and this will help to excersise your mental and emotional muscles and strengthen your willpower when I reached my half stone target I gave myself a little treat such as a sausage sandwich it gives us something to aim for and promotes a sense of achievement

As your clothes start to feel loose try on the clothes that don’t fit anymore then you have a good guide on how much more you need to lose to fit into them clothes make it a goal to be able to wear them clothes comfortably I cant tell you the sense of achievement I had when I could finally wear my grey suit comfortably 36″ waist small trousers 46″ chest

5. Focus on your goals let nothing detract you from your goals remember your reprogramming yourself so focus is very important it will boost your willpower to help you achieve your goals

6, Intention set your intention to lose your weight and reach your desired weight I made myself a promise that I would lose 4 stone in weight I did not want the guilt of failing to lose 4 stone this set my intention

I hope you the reader has enjoyed reading this and have gained some helpful advice from it I am now the healthiest I have been in years simply by changing the way I think with focus and intention and this awoke my willpower

In Light and Love Stephen