Author: thelifeandtimesofstevieboy

I am a 64 year old Spiritual Healer and Spiritualist Platform Medium, I wrote my first blog in December 2016 about my diet, I really enjoyed writing it so have been writing about my spiritual journey and realisation since then, also adding poetry when inspired I hope you enjoy reading

A Weekend Of Spiritual Service 29th &30th July 2023

I feel drawn to write about last weekend. It was a busy weekend with a shift at work and two demonstrations of mediumship to do, one of them being trance. I started work 9am Saturday morning, very excited that I was going to give my first private demonstration of transfiguration and trance, to a group of 7 people in Swindon. Organised by the lovely Barbara-Ann Winter who wanted to see me demonstrate trance in person rather than online. I was filled with anticipation of what my spirit team had planned for the evening, I joked with my work colleagues that I was going to be like the Marvel Character Flash, and get my meals on wheels round done as quick as I could, so I would have time for a little rest, before loading my car and driving to Swindon, my round went really well with no hold ups. I got back to the warehouse at 13.50 emptied my van and cleaned the ovens, after handing over my round to the admin team I drove home. Arriving home at 14.45, kissed my Veronica and made a sandwich, Veronica was complaining of a bad migraine headache, I was concerned for her as she really looked unwell. I said to Veronica you stay home and rest I will go to Swindon. I text Barbara-Ann to tell her Veronica would not be coming with me.

I loaded the car with spirit box, red light, chair, black cover, and germanium crystal. I headed to Swindon at 16.00, unfortunately there had been a bad accident on the M3 motorway, so I had to divert driving around the outskirts of Winchester to catch the A34. I arrived at Barbara-Ann’s at 17.40, after a coffee and chat we set up her lounge for trance, setting up the spirit box, red light, bringing source energy into the lounge, and playing my Enya CD, to help to raise the energies in the lounge for trance communication. We have to create loving energies for spirit to be able to draw close to us to communicate, it is very important to do so low energy = poor spirit communication. Barbara-Ann went to the Chinese to collect mushroom fu yong and chips for me to zap in the microwave after trance demonstration, as it is best to have an empty stomach for trance. Whilst Barbara-Ann was out I sat in the power of the room, the energies were building nicely. I was filled with anticipation of what my spirit team would bring forward, the guests arrived at 7pm, all spiritualists who run their own spiritualist churches, or serve spirit through mental mediumship and trance, and spiritual healing. I was honoured to be amongst dedicated spiritualists and humbled that I had been invited to demonstrate trance for them.

I gave a short talk to introduce myself, and to tell sitters what they might see and experience through the trance, such as transfiguration where spirit form an ectoplasmic screen over my face, so that their faces can be seen over my face, little coloured lights, faces in the spirit box, they may see silhouettes of people walking around the room, they may feel spirit touching them on the arms and head, also the room temperature changing from hot to cold and vice versa. I added that my spirit guides usually speak through me, giving teaching and they usually invite questions from sitters. I also advised the sitters to send their love to the spirit box, to aid spirit to use me as a trance channel, as I strongly believe you get out of spirit communication what you put into it, as it really is a meeting of the earth plane and realms of spirit. I gave the opening prayer to welcome spirit to our circle and to ask for protection for our circle, I sat in the spirit box and did my countdown meditation, which is simply stepping out of my material mind and stepping into my spiritual sacred space, so that my consciousness can step to one side and allow spirit guides into my aura to communicate through me.

I suppose my consciousness re entered the around 90 minutes later, the sitters told me they had seen the face of my Chinese guide, Li and native american chief Sitting Bull’s face transfigured over mine. And that my spirit guides Li and Red Cloud had spoken through me to give the teachings of spirit, and that Red Cloud had answered their questions, confirming where they were on their path of development, and what they were experiencing with their spirit guides, which gave the sitters welcome validation and confirmation of their spiritual path. All told me it was an amazing evening with spirit, I gave the closing prayer to thank my spirit guides for being with us. Barbara-Ann warmed up my mushroom fu yong and provided cold snacks for the sitters, we sat and talked about our evening with spirit, the sitters went home around 10pm, I stayed for a little while longer to come down from the trance, to make sure I felt safe to drive home to Winchester, all in all I feel to say it was a successful evening of spirit communication. Barbara-Ann to told me she would invite me back to do another trance sit in the future, which warms my heart and I feel spirit truly gave love and upliftment to the sitters. I drove home listening to music there was a beautiful full moon above me, I had the feeling of purpose and felt uplifted it was a amazing feeling, I go home around 11.45pm tired but with a real sense I was living my best life,

Sunday was a restful morning, I treated myself to a bowl of cinnamon porridge, worked on my cyber farm, I really enjoy the peace of where I live it was so good to breathe and relax. Veronica got up and I was relieved that she was feeling a bit better from the night before, it was also good to spend some time with Veronica, we both work and with my spiritual commitments we do not get alot of quality time together so peaceful Sunday mornings with Veronica are very special to me. we chatted and watched tv together, Veronica cooked lunch and I had a doze on the sofa, at 3.30 pm it was time for me to meditate, to prepare for divine service at Woking Spiritualist Church. A church I have been serving since 1984, I have many fond memories of Woking Spiritualist Church, as it was my go to church in troubled times and made friends, also I have run three development circles there and demonstrated trance there. On the way to Woking, Wandrin Star sang by Lee Marvin started to play, it was my dads favourite song, I felt my dad was with me and that he approved of my path and travels.

I arrived at Woking Spiritualist Church at around 17.40 pm, and was greeted by Jackie Shellard Millard the church president. I sat and chatted with a coffee, then I went into the church office to meditate, to call on spirit guides and loved ones to draw close to prepare for service, Stewart the Chairperson came and collected me and we walked to the platform, the service actually turned into a bit of a mish mash, as Stewart had forgotten the order of service, there was laughter as we worked out which part of the service we were at, my guides inspired me to give the address about how we should all be non judgmental, and how we are all connected by the one source of life that we know as God, I told the congregation that this truth is validated, with the truth that billions of years ago a supernova blew up, and through a series of universal events over millions of years our planet and life on earth was created, so all is connected from the supernova blowing up as it created everything we see and know in this life, my guides also inspired me to say that we are all brothers and sisters in spirit, as we are all living as spirit in this life within and around a physical body. Our earth plane is a giant school and we are all in our different classrooms, experiencing life from our own level of perception and understanding, instead of judging others that live and behave differently to us, we should have compassion for those who we deem to live negative lives, as we are all brothers and sisters in spirit born in the one source.

It came the time to give messages from loved ones in spirit and spirit guides, it is such a joy when a communicating loved one, is recognised and accepted by the recipient of the message, and to sense the unconditional love from loved ones in spirit to the recipient. I gave messages from a husband, a guy who described himself as the fastest brick layer in the west, as he was paid by the amount of bricks he laid, a grandmother showing me the diabetic ulcers on the feet, a man who sold his house and bought the house next door but one to him, the messages were given and accepted guidance and upliftment was received by the recipients, at the end of the service Stewart could not give church notices as he had forgotten his notes, I closed the service in prayer to thank spirit for being with us and for their love and guidance, and to ask for a blessing for all in attendance, a couple of people thanked me for their messages which is always humbling, as I feel that I am just a parrot for spirit.

I drove home thankful that I was able to communicate spirit teachings and messages, I thought to myself being a channel for spirit is the best job in the world, as it is so inwardly rewarding, and I get to meet lots of amazing people, yes it can be hard, it can be tiring, and to be a platform medium you have to have the skin of a rhino, as there are people that are happy to shoot us down in flames. By and large it is a blessing to be on a path of spiritual service, the many pro’s outweigh the few cons, I am aware that I need to rest more and to spend more quality time with Veronica, but this last weekend although tiring has been a blessing in many ways. As I was driving home Blessed Are The Meek by Status Quo started to play it was one of my late friend Sandra Highams favourite songs, I thought of her and I am thankful she was a part of my life, as she truly believed in me and my mediumship, and encouraged me to keep going on my spiritual path, and I know the song playing was her sign to me she was with me. I am on a day off today so taking the time to relax and to share my thoughts here. Blessings To All

Stephen Rowlands 31/07/23

Zooming To Darwen

Spiritualism since the dawn of Covid 19, has been going through an epiphany a technological awakening, that has connected churches, center’s, mediums and congregations, all over the world. Which has joined likeminded people worldwide, The world has become a much smaller place due to our connectivity through the internet. Through Facebook lives and Zoom demonstrations of mediumship, I have connected with people from all over the world, some have become good friends together we transmit spirit teaching, guidance, healing, and evidence of survival after physical death. Although now churches and centres are suffering due to lower attendance, due to covid and people now do not have to leave their homes, as there is a lot of spiritualism of all kinds online now.

Back in 2021 I started serving Facebook group Eternal Spirit Online Team, doing Facebook Lives and Zoom demonstrations of mediumship and trance. I was very pleased to be invited back to serve them online, as they are a friendly down to earth group, also they put on different aspects of spirit communication, which to me is forward thinking as in general most groups just churn out messages. I liked the fact that they actively raise money for charities, which is in line with spirit teaching of service to others, I have been happily serving Eternal Spirit Online Team for a couple of years. They also have a beautiful church Connections of Light Darwen near Blackburn, I have seen the pictures of the church, and thought I would love to do a demonstration there, as the building is an old church/chapel and beautiful inside, looking at the pictures you could tell there is a beautiful energy within the church.

20/01/23 I was thrilled when Kate Green the booking secretary for Connections Of Light, messaged me and asked if I would like to do a demonstration of mediumship at the church. I of course told her I would love to serve Connections Of Light, travel expenses agreed, the date for demonstration of mediumship was agreed 30/06/23 at 7.30pm. I also had to book a room at the local premier inn for two nights, as I live 240 miles from the church. This expense was covered by the private readings I give. I save the money and use it to pay for accommodation, if I am booked for a long distance demonstration. Myself and my wife Veronica drove to Darwen 29/06/23 settling in to our hotel room.

Later that evening Kate Green and Andy Ash Fielding, who is President of Connections Of Light, met us at the hotel for a coffee and a chat, I can honestly say it was great to meet them, as I had only ever met them online on Zoom, or celebrity squares as I call Zoom meetings. It was a great night chatting about mediumship and the spiritualist scene in Blackburn, time passed by quickly it was like we had been chatting for half an hour, but 4 hours had passed us by Kate and Andy went home all in all it was a very uplifting evening. As they were leaving I thought to myself I would never have met them or known about their church let alone get booked to serve their church, If it was not for Zoom.

The next day me and Veronica had breakfast, and went for a little drive to the local shop to buy a few bits. Veronica went for lunch in the brewers fayre next to hotel, I sat in the hotel room and ate a sandwich, as a light meal before a demonstration of mediumship is always best. Later I sat down and meditated to prepare for demonstration, I was taken above the clouds, I was wearing biblical clothes, and I felt the presence of Jesus with me. Jesus said to me when you serve others you represent me, I asked Jesus for energy as it was going to be a 90 minute demonstration, Jesus pointed up ahead into the distance, there was a small orangey red sun, emitting orangey red beams of light to all points of the compass. Jesus said to me there is the energy you need it is eternal and everlasting, draw your energy from God. I was so humbled to be in this place, I asked Angels Spirit Guides and Loved Ones to draw close to me to prepare for the demonstration.

Kate and Andy agreed, that I could sign and sell copies of my poetry book Reflections, after the demonstration. Myself and Veronica drove the mile to Connections Of Light Spiritualist Church,. I must say we received a very warm welcome from Kate Andy and co, I set my books on the table ready for the book signing, I must say the energy within the church was high, sadly the energy I speak of is rare in the spiritualist churches I serve, and it is a credit to Kate and Andy for the energy and community they have created within the church. 15 minutes before Demonstration I sat in the healing room calling on Angels Guides and Loved Ones to draw close to me. The energy as you would expect within the healing room as serene and peaceful, a perfect place to sit in the power and call on spirit.

At 7.30pm the demonstration began, I was introduced to the congregation, and I gave the opening prayer to invite spirit into the demonstration, we then sang the song Spirit In The Sky to raise the energy even more, spirit were having the last laugh as they kept stopping the music for the song, Andy told me afterwards spirit only do that with certain mediums. after much laughter the demonstration begun, there was laughter and tears as I passed on messages to people from Angels Guides and Loved Ones, I feel to say because of the high energy within the church, my link with spirit communicators was clearer and stronger than usual. I actually feel humbled by the messages I passed onto people in the congregation, and I could see upliftment was being given by spirit, spirit truly touched hearts that night, as I returned back onto platform, Kate said to me that was lovely would you like to come back next year, I replied I would love to. After Demo Andy went to the chippie and got us a chip supper, I must say it was also great to meet and chat to some of the people I had met on Zoom. I also managed to sell a few of my books all in all the demonstration was a success, and the love of spirit shone through that night.

REALISATION

Although Zoom and Facebook Lives have made the spiritualist world a lot smaller, I have met people and served places. I never would have before covid19, the internet has breathed new life into the spiritualist world, and many of us who serve spirit are benefitting demonstrating our abilities online. With the people we meet and the new churches and centres we serve, although all this is fantastic, I feel I should say that a in person demonstration or service in a church or centre, is where the loving heart of spirit is, and the connection between spirit and the recipient of the message is much stronger. I say to all who read this please support your local church or centre, Zoom and Facebook Lives provide valuable access a lifeline, to people who cannot get to church through illness and disability,

BLESSINGS TO ALL

Stephen Rowlands 03/07/23

What Being A Medium Means To Me

From my earliest memories spirit have been with me. I can honestly say my journey with spirit has been a life long Journey, from my earliest experiences with spirit to my teenage years, when I thought I was going mad and questioning why. I see things and felt things differently to others who could not see and feel what I was, I realised there must be some kind of purpose to all my experiences with spirit, I started to seek God to find answers as to what purpose my experiences were for, spiritualism gave me the answers I needed to find, this started I suppose I could say my calling to serve spirit through my developing spirit channel, family and friends did not like my involvement in spiritualism, this led to from family asking me to give up my spiritualism as it was upsetting them and in some cases causing embarrassment, from certain friends there was ridicule calling me witchypoo and izzy whizzy lets get busy, some said I was either delusional or a fraud.

I stuck to my guns, and was determined to continue my learning pathway in spiritualism, as I had begun to realise my journey had become my calling, and the purpose of my calling the future would unfold. As spiritual development in development circle, spirit teachings, and asking questions of people much more learned than myself, were helping me to learn about myself and to know who I truly am. I have always struggled in the material world of the earth plane, with what the earth plane expects from us, as worker ants for the world economy, to marry raise a family buy a house grow old and fade away, once I started demonstrating mediumship in spiritualist churches, I saw myself as an on the road medium, and I would travel as far and wide as my mediumship would take me. This is still true of me today I love to travel and serve as many spiritualist churches as possible.

In spiritual development circle, spirit guide Li spoke through Ian Watts, to bring to us the teachings of spirit. He taught us our service as mediums was to Channel spirit, to bring upliftment to all in need, and to bring teaching and enlightenment from spirit, to all who will listen to help raise the collective consciousness of the human race. This teaching from Li I hold dear to my heart, and gives me clear purpose to my role as a medium. and it is how I practice my mediumship to this day, spirit guide Li went on to say that evidence of survival after physical death once proven to us, should be the start of our journey of discovery and learning about eternal life, the journey of the spirit through many life forms and consciousness. to achieve purity and oneness with God, through reincarnation governed by universal law.

The Spiritualists National Union like to dictate to it’s churches, and the mediums who serve them, on the messages that can be given by spirit through mediums in SNU churches, by demanding that only evidence of survival after physical death can be given, this is censoring spirit on what they can and cannot say, not allowing any upliftment or guidance from loved ones in spirit or spirit guides to come through, I find this very blinkered and very restrictive as a medium, and it must frustrate spirit communicators, as they are only being asked to give information about their life on earth, to prove their survival after physical death to the recipient. Information the recipient of the message already knows, and usually has received evidence of survival many times, but has no knowledge of eternal life or spirit teachings to put into spiritual practice, to help them to grow and evolve as spirit living through a physical body in a material world, helping them to overcome the trials of life on the earth plane, and developing the best version of themselves.

Ironically the 3rd principle of SNU Spiritualism, The 7 Principles of Spiritualism is, The Communion of Spirits and The Ministry of Angels, and yet communication with spirit guides and angels is frowned upon and in the odd SNU church is strictly prohibited. with only evidence of survival permitted via mediums that serve their churches and centers. The SNU on their website state, that our loved ones in spirit, continue to show an interest in our welfare and us, but advice given by spirit loved ones is not regarded as evidence of survival. Their website also states, there are spirit people who are dedicated to the welfare and service of mankind, such as Silver Birch Spirit Guide to Maurice Barbanell, and yet communication and advice from spirit guides, is not seen as evidential mediumship. Spirit Guide Li taught us, evidence of survival only needs to be given to those who seek evidence of survival, or for recognition of the spirit communicator, so the recipient of the message can recognise who is speaking to them from the spirit realms.

As a medium I will give evidence of survival after physical death, if my spirit guides think it is needed for the recipient, but also the recipient of the message will know who is speaking to them, to me that is the first part of the message, I will make plenty of room for loved ones to pass on advice to the recipient of the message, can you imagine how frustrating it is, for a loved one in spirit who can see your problems in life, and want to give the recipient advice to help to support them and all the medium is interested in is the facts of the spirit communicators earth life to prove survival after death, evidence of survival should be given as the first part of the message, for recognition purposes only. Leaving plenty of room for loved ones angels spirit guides to communicate their love and guidance to the recipient. Having said all this when I demonstrate mediumship, I see it as a get together with loved ones in spirit and loved ones on earth, and I feel very privileged to be able to facilitate this get together, through my mediumship the love and guidance given by loved ones, angels, and spirit guides. Is truly humbling for me as a medium, it is my purpose to bring the beautiful love upliftment guidance and teachings of spirit, as well as the evidence of survival, it is my purpose to serve spirit in this way, and that is what being a medium means to me.

Stephen Rowlands 08/02/23

Attacked By The Demons Of Religious Ignorance And Hypocrisy

What I am about to write is something that I have struggled with for years, my heart was broken into a zillion pieces way back in 1986, memories come to mind of the girl when I hear certain songs, or something I see on television that reminds of the day in 1986, my heart was broken. December 1985 my friend Del invited me out with his girlfriend, and her friend Lisa (using a different name to protect her privacy) who was very interested to meet me, as Del had told her I am a medium. The four of us met at a nightclub in Reading, Lisa was a pretty girl with long black hair and beautiful eyes. I was immediately attracted to her, we drank we danced we laughed and talked, I told her about my mediumship which she took great interest in, at the end of the evening I plucked up the courage to ask her for her phone number, which to my suprise and delight she gave me her phone number.

I phoned Lisa a couple of days later from the phone box outside my school on the Langley Road, to my absolute delight Lisa agreed to go out on a date with me, we made arrangements to meet for drinks in The Blagrave Arms in Reading, then go to a pizza restaurant afterwards. After a drink in The Blagrave Arms we moved to The Tudor Arms, the song playing on the jukebox was Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys, as I listened to the words of the song I knew I was falling for Lisa, she was a beautiful girl and we seemed very much in tune with each other. After pizza I walked her to the taxi rank at Reading railway station, and on that crisp frosty night we kissed our lips embracing in a magical moment, and we agreed we would like to see a lot more of each other, I opened the taxi door and bid Lisa farewell until next time, I travelled home on the train back to Slough, elated I had kissed a beautiful girl, and the fact that she wanted to date me in the future.

At the time I did not drive but I was learning to drive, as travelling by public transport to demonstrate mediumship in Spiritualist churches was becoming a real chore, this meant I would travel to Reading to meet Lisa in Reading. I passed my driving test February 17th 1986, I bought my first car a Cortina Crusader, now I had my independence I could drive to Spiritualist Churches, and pick up Lisa from her work as a live in nanny for a family in Caversham. We dated for several months and I had fallen head over heels in love with Lisa, and I felt she felt the same way about me, one balmy evening in July 1986 Lisa asked me to give her a baby and nature took it’s course. I said to her if you fall pregnant with our baby I will marry you, Lisa was against the idea of getting married but she said, we could live together to raise our child, and if everything worked out then she would marry me. I was over the moon everything was falling into place for me, as I was with the love of my life and we were about to become a family.

August 1986 everything was going well although Lisa was becoming more distant from me, I asked her if she had fallen for our baby and Lisa told me she was not pregnant, asking me to wear a condom when we made love, this I thought was strange as I thought she wanted to start a family with me, Lisa told me that she had asked me for a baby whilst in the throes of passion with me, but she had second thoughts, and thought it was best to wait until she was sure she wanted to have a baby with me. This I accepted as being a sensible decision, I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and I thought me and Lisa would be together forever, and it would be best to build our relationship slowly. In September 1986 Lisa joined me and my family for a day out at a steam rally, Lisa hardly said a word to me all day, this concerned me I wondered what I had done wrong, but Lisa would not tell me what was a matter with her.

It came the time to take Lisa home back to Caversham, as we drove I was asking her to talk to me and tell me why she was being so quiet and distant from me, I stopped the car outside her home Lisa took my hand with tears in her eyes, she told me that she could not see me anymore she loved me it was not my fault it was hers. I begged Lisa to change her mind telling her no matter what was wrong we could work through it, Lisa was very emotional but adamant she could not see me anymore and that it was best we split up, and would not tell me why we should split up, Lisa got out of the car and went inside. I was absolutely devastated my whole world being destroyed around me. I drove home sobbing my heart out feeling that half of me had been ripped away from me, over the next month I was phoning Lisa begging her to talk to me, eventually she agreed to come out for a drink with me so we could talk, by this time Lisa’s job had ended, and she moved back to Sonning Common to live with her father, I picked Lisa up and we went to the local pub, I spent the evening begging Lisa to come back to me, and that whatever was wrong we could put it right.

Lisa invited me back to her home for coffee, promising me she would finally tell me why she had broken up with me. As we sat in the kitchen with our coffee Lisa told me she had in fact been pregnant with my baby, but it was wrong to have my baby as I am a spiritualist medium, the elders at her catholic church had advised her to terminate the pregnancy, as I was a spiritualist medium because demons were working through me, and she had in fact conceived a demons baby. I was horrified and could not believe what I was hearing, Lisa told me she had terminated the pregnancy a week after ending our relationship, saying she had gone back to her catholic faith, because in her catholic teaching she knew it was wrong to be with a spiritualist medium. I felt deeply sick in the pit of my stomach, that she had aborted our child because of my spiritual practice and knowledge, by this time we were both crying, Lisa said her elders had told her she had sinned by being with me, and she had broken the first commandment.

I the lord am your God you shall not have other Gods besides me.

I reminded Lisa that I am a Christian Spiritualist, and that we pray to the same God as the catholic church, and that there is only one God for everybody no matter what the different religions choose to name that God. I reminded Lisa that I wear a cross and know of Jesus Christ and the christ light, and had spoken to Jesus in meditation and given messages to people from him, and that Jesus is the true example of my knowledge he lived and died and rose again into eternal life, I reminded Lisa of her telling me about people speaking in tongues in her church, and were they sure that in fact demons were not communicating through them and they were actually speaking the words of demons. I told Lisa about all the sexual and physical abuse committed on young people by catholic priests and nuns. By this time I was very angry and told Lisa, that the devil and his demons were alive and well and working through the catholic church, and that her elders were being controlled by demons through their ignorance and hypocrisy, and that I thought the catholic church was against abortion, stating the 5th commandment.

Thou shall not kill.

How could she and the church elders justify killing an innocent life, when in their own belief system God commands them not to kill. Lisa told me the church elders justified her having an abortion as our child was the son of Satan, and would inflict great evil on our earth. I was very angry, I felt so dirty that Lisa believed I worked with and was being controlled the devil, and betrayed by Lisa, believing that our child had been conceived through an act of love, also absolutely mortified that our child had been murdered by religious ignorance and hypocrisy, that I thought only existed in medieval times. Our relationship was now over, I drove home sat down asking God Angels and Spirit Guides to give our baby safe transition into spirit and healing, the hurt from this has continued to this day. The fact that our child was murdered by Lisa and her catholic church elders because of me being a spiritualist medium, has made me sick to the core of my being. It has taken me thirty seven years to write about this and put it out there, hoping healing will come, so that I can forgive and through my knowledge and mediumship end religious ignorance and hypocrisy forever.

Stephen Rowlands

Finding Balance In 2022

As I sit contemplating my yearly boxing day blog, I am wondering were to start, going back to October 2021. I was working as a relief worker for Two Saints at their Acton Lodge Hostel, a support worker had resigned due to his ill health giving a month’s notice, as a replacement had not been found, the manager asked me if I would like to work in the community rather than being hostel based. Working in the community would mean supporting clients in sublet accommodation, as well as clients in hostels awaiting sublet accommodation, the clients had previously been homeless suffering with drug, alcohol, and mental health issues. I jumped for this new opportunity as I wanted to do more to help clients, rather than day to day hostel duties. I explained to my manager that I had no experience of support work, but I would love to give it a try, as I hoped to become a full-time support worker, I had applied for the vacant position. this would mean I would have practical experience, and it would support my job application.

I feel I have learned important lessons during my time employed by Two Saints. I will discuss the lessons I learned throughout this blog. January 2022 started with me suffering with covid. Although I felt I had recovered enough to do my first service, which was a zoom demonstration of mediumship for Bognor Spiritualist Centre, the meeting went well although my voice became hoarse, and the meeting was called to time, fortunately before my voice gave out. A private reading with me was raffled, I was told lots of people had bought raffle tickets, because the reading would be with me, I know this sounds arrogant, but it made me feel good to know that my spirit team’s work, through me was touching heart’s helping people and making it’s mark.

I started out with a caseload of ten clients, and considered as a complex caseload, because of the client’s lifestyle, addictions, and mental health. I realise now as I am writing that I had bitten off more than I could chew, I started to realise that I had been thrown in the deep end. As a relief worker I was not entitled to travelling expenses, but I was expected to visit clients using my own car, and I had to get business insurance for my car, as at times I would have to take clients to professional appointments, such as doctors, dentists, and hospitals, or to the council, or to get benefit assessments, or to move clients from one property to another with their belongings. I was also not entitled to a company phone, as I could not give clients my personal phone number, this made things difficult, if a client wanted to phone me they had to leave a message at hostel for me, or if I needed to phone a client. I would have to drive back to hostel to phone them, or call hostel staff to call the client to give them a message from me.

In January 2022 I was interviewed for the role of support worker along with other candidates, I was unsuccessful in my application, and the job was offered to another candidate. I was a bit miffed as since October 21 I was working the vacant post without the correct renumeration, phone or training to do the job being asked of me, my manager asked me to do certain online training courses, but when I tried to do the training courses, I was not allowed to do them as I was still a relief worker. A week or so later I was told they could not employ the successful candidate in the community role, as she did not have a car or driving licence, she had started work at a hostel a bus ride from her home.

I was offered the support worker role. In hindsight I should have rejected the job offer, because it was clear I was second choice for the role, as a colleague reminded me a few days later. But I was happy as now. I would be working on a full-time basis, the working hours were 9am-5pm, which would allow me to earn a decent wage and accommodate my spiritual service, on the 7th February 2022 I started work aa a homeless recovery worker, not only did I have to manage my caseload, a new world of training had opened up for me, which meant I would lose alot of time to do training. I was working longer and longer hours to keep up with my caseload and the admin that comes with it, my predecessor had not done up to date support plans for the clients I had inherited from him, or arranged housing benefit for a client , which led to extra workload, with me asking lots of questions, as I had never dealt with housing benefits before.

It was at this point I realised I was becoming stressed, with my workload as I was working extra hours to keep up, also doing 3-4 services a week online and in person. I was not getting anytime for myself and quality time with my wife. I just seemed to be constantly working, the only respite I seemed to have was when it was time to sleep, as in the darkness of the night there was no expectation of me. and I could relax, at times I still had to meditate to relax enough to sleep, as to what I needed to do or worrying about what I may not have done was heavy on my mind, me and my wife had booked a 11 night cruise to the canary islands in March, which I was very much looking forward to, as I had never been on a ocean cruise before, and it would be a break from everything visiting new places, a time to rest and relax and spend time with my wife, who I missed as I was always working, and hoping to be inspired by the sea to write new poems.

My wife and I were very excited to travel to Portsmouth, to board our cruise ship the valiant lady 21/03/22. We were greeted with a champagne reception when we boarded, my wife and I had booked a rock star suite on deck 11 at the stern of the ship, we sailed later that day having a gorgeous steak dinner before bed time, it was an 80’s cruise and live entertainment was provided by Martin Fry of ABC, Toyah Wilcox, Annie Logan of Altered Images, and Carole Decker of T’Pau, and Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet. It was great to see them perform their hits live, over the cruise back in the day I loved all of my heart by ABC, and always wanted to see it sung live, so to watch Martin Fry singing All Of My Heart was truly my best highlight of the cruise, Veronica spent the first two days of the cruise in bed sea sick, to cut a long story short, the food was great and to a very high standard, the staff were wonderful, but other than the 80’s entertainment, there was not really much else to do on board the ship, apart from drink and lie on a sun lounger, there was also a blues band that entertained during the day in one of the bars.

Our cruise was struck by tragedy as a passenger had to be airlifted to hospital, due to a medical emergency, and we had to sail back a few hours so the helicopter could reach our ship, a man committed suicide by jumping overboard, he told his wife he was going to get some air as she was going to bed, his wife woke up 8 hours later to find that he had not returned to her, and a ship wide for him began, he captain made a tannoy announcement that the man was seen on cctv, jumping overboard and that no one else was involved, under maritime law we had to sail back to the man’s last known position, and search for him, we sailed back and the ship carried out a 100 mile search with the help of the French coastguard, once we had reached the search area me and Veronica and many passengers looked out to sea to see if we could spot him. The man was not found and an eerie silence fell upon the ship, our hearts going out to his wife and family.

Our cruise had been badly delayed, but it was no one’s fault the tragic circumstances for the delays, could not have been anticipated, it meant for me and Veronica that we spent a lot more time at sea watching movies in our suite, day trips were cancelled and our time in port was shortened, we did manage to visit Santa Cruz, Gran Canaria, Tenerife, and Lisbon. But basically it was just like being dropped off at the shops, in Tenerife me and Veronica walked around the shops and had coffee in a cafe, I remarked to Veronica “we could have done this in Eastleigh”. In Santa Cruz we hopped on board a coach trip that took us around the local sights and places of historical interest, with a very informative tour guide, that was a lovely day.

We landed back in Portsmouth 01/04/22, we saw the new Royal Navy aircraft carrier The Queen Elizabeth. to be bluntly honest I could not wait to get off the ship and go home, as I felt quite depressed this may sound very ungrateful, but due to spending a lot of time at sea with nothing much to do except eat and drink, and the tragedy that had occurred on board, coupled with the stress I thought I would escape from with this cruise, my mental health was way worse than before the cruise. I do feel blessed that me and Veronica could afford the cruise, but tragedy aside I guess cruising is not for me, tragedy aside my Veronica loved her time at sea and we may book another cruise in the future,

I returned to work 04/04/22 as expected I spent the first day replying to and actioning received emails, and visiting clients over the next 3 months my work load got heavier and heavier due to staff sickness, and being expected to cover hostel duties, as well as my own caseload and my off sick colleagues caseload, this I shared with another colleague who was also feeling stressed about he extra workload, I also had 2 complex clients that were being evicted and moved to another address, plus another client who I was trying to get sublet accommodation for, this involved a lot of report writing phone calls and emails, I was working longer and longer hours to keep up with my work load, coupled with doing 3-4 demonstrations of mediumship a week, I was not getting any adequate rest or quality time with Veronica, more than once I would get home at 7pm a quick meditate and tune in, and would be demonstrating mediumship by 7.30pm. During April 2022 I self published my collection of poetry titled Reflections on Amazon UK.

Over time I was becoming more and more stressed and anxious, as I could not keep up with my caseload and the workload it generated, I was also having to take time off to do training, which was giving me less time to focus on my workload. I had already resigned once before but was talked out of it by the service manager, things were coming to a head as I was becoming more and more stressed and dreading going to work each day, I took a weeks holiday in July, to decide what I was going to do with my life, and whether I could cope with stress and anxiety, and continue to do my job also realising the stress and anxiety, was getting harder and harder to rise above, and this would have a very negative effect on my spiritual service and marriage, my mental health was effecting my physical health as I was finding it very hard to sleep.

I unloaded my worries and woes onto my spirit guides, Red Cloud advised me if I did not find balance soon in my life, I would become to ill and I would be no good to anyone, and it would cut my pathway short, and they with me would not be able to achieve future service, I was reminded when I worked for an agency working around my spiritual commitments, I was rested and the household finances did not suffer, this was a lightbulb moment for me, although I realised Red Cloud was stating the obvious, my stress and anxiety was really affecting my train of thought, I decided to resign from Two Saints and go back to working for an agency so I could earn money have a better quality of life, and be well and rested enough for my spiritual service. 11/08/22 was my last day of working for Two Saints, it was a frantic day trying to complete the tasks my service manager and unloaded on me that day, I was full of stress and anxiety, my service manager asked me to return as a relief I told her I would think about it, a colleague asked me if I would come back as a relief, I told her with the way I was feeling I would not be back, staff had a collection for me, I received a lovely farewell card a bunch of sun flowers 2 bottles of my favourite wine sauvignon blanc and a box of maltesers, I was touched by their generosity.

My colleague Louisa invited me for farewell meal and drinks after work, I picked her up at the hostel she worked at and ranted about the events of the day, but I was touched she wanted to say a proper farewell to me, the sun was shining we sat in a pub garden had a drink and a meal which was most welcome I dropped her off in Gosport after the meal and went home, feeling relief about leaving my job and sentimental about my time with Two Saints, a curious mixture of emotions. I took the following week off to meditate and rest to get my stress and anxiety under control, midweek I went back to driver hire and signed on with them, a temp to perm job with meals on wheels was mentioned, I told them that the hours suited me and the hourly rate was good, I had a current DBS certificate so I start straight away, 22/08/22 I started work with meals on wheels and I have not looked back.

I am currently applying to work for meals on wheels full time on a 22 hour contract, which accommodates my spiritual service, I am renewing my DBS certificate once that is done I will be full time with meals on wheels, my stress and anxiety did not dissappear, it took a lot of meditation and self healing before I felt myself again, so I say to all take the time to be kind to yourself especially with mental health, myself and Veronica had a lovely week in York, to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary 07/09/22, sadly HM The Queen passed away 08/09/22, myself Veronica and the whole nation felt her loss as she was the only Queen we had known throughout our lives from birth, whilst in York I was invited to demonstrate trance healing at Harrogate Spiritualist Church, which was an honour and a blessing to do, 11 people received healing that night, also people saw loved ones and guides appear in the cabinet.

Spiritually I have got busier and busier, I am very blessed to say my 2023 diary is full, 2022 has taught me that I am not 30 years old anymore and I cannot do now what I did then, work full-time and do 3 demonstrations of mediumship a week, I have not got the energy I had 32 years ago, but hopefully now I have things in place, whereby I have balance in all areas of my life and the energy to fulfill all my commitments, I have also learned that I am not as mentally tough as I thought I was, and that self care with mental health is just as important as physical health.