Tag: love

What I am about to write is something that I have struggled with for years, my heart was broken into a zillion pieces way back in 1986, memories come to mind of the girl when I hear certain songs, or something I see on television that reminds of the day in 1986, my heart was broken. December 1985 my friend Del invited me out with his girlfriend, and her friend Lisa (using a different name to protect her privacy) who was very interested to meet me, as Del had told her I am a medium. The four of us met at a nightclub in Reading, Lisa was a pretty girl with long black hair and beautiful eyes. I was immediately attracted to her, we drank we danced we laughed and talked, I told her about my mediumship which she took great interest in, at the end of the evening I plucked up the courage to ask her for her phone number, which to my suprise and delight she gave me her phone number.

I phoned Lisa a couple of days later from the phone box outside my school on the Langley Road, to my absolute delight Lisa agreed to go out on a date with me, we made arrangements to meet for drinks in The Blagrave Arms in Reading, then go to a pizza restaurant afterwards. After a drink in The Blagrave Arms we moved to The Tudor Arms, the song playing on the jukebox was Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys, as I listened to the words of the song I knew I was falling for Lisa, she was a beautiful girl and we seemed very much in tune with each other. After pizza I walked her to the taxi rank at Reading railway station, and on that crisp frosty night we kissed our lips embracing in a magical moment, and we agreed we would like to see a lot more of each other, I opened the taxi door and bid Lisa farewell until next time, I travelled home on the train back to Slough, elated I had kissed a beautiful girl, and the fact that she wanted to date me in the future.

At the time I did not drive but I was learning to drive, as travelling by public transport to demonstrate mediumship in Spiritualist churches was becoming a real chore, this meant I would travel to Reading to meet Lisa in Reading. I passed my driving test February 17th 1986, I bought my first car a Cortina Crusader, now I had my independence I could drive to Spiritualist Churches, and pick up Lisa from her work as a live in nanny for a family in Caversham. We dated for several months and I had fallen head over heels in love with Lisa, and I felt she felt the same way about me, one balmy evening in July 1986 Lisa asked me to give her a baby and nature took it’s course. I said to her if you fall pregnant with our baby I will marry you, Lisa was against the idea of getting married but she said, we could live together to raise our child, and if everything worked out then she would marry me. I was over the moon everything was falling into place for me, as I was with the love of my life and we were about to become a family.

August 1986 everything was going well although Lisa was becoming more distant from me, I asked her if she had fallen for our baby and Lisa told me she was not pregnant, asking me to wear a condom when we made love, this I thought was strange as I thought she wanted to start a family with me, Lisa told me that she had asked me for a baby whilst in the throes of passion with me, but she had second thoughts, and thought it was best to wait until she was sure she wanted to have a baby with me. This I accepted as being a sensible decision, I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and I thought me and Lisa would be together forever, and it would be best to build our relationship slowly. In September 1986 Lisa joined me and my family for a day out at a steam rally, Lisa hardly said a word to me all day, this concerned me I wondered what I had done wrong, but Lisa would not tell me what was a matter with her.

It came the time to take Lisa home back to Caversham, as we drove I was asking her to talk to me and tell me why she was being so quiet and distant from me, I stopped the car outside her home Lisa took my hand with tears in her eyes, she told me that she could not see me anymore she loved me it was not my fault it was hers. I begged Lisa to change her mind telling her no matter what was wrong we could work through it, Lisa was very emotional but adamant she could not see me anymore and that it was best we split up, and would not tell me why we should split up, Lisa got out of the car and went inside. I was absolutely devastated my whole world being destroyed around me. I drove home sobbing my heart out feeling that half of me had been ripped away from me, over the next month I was phoning Lisa begging her to talk to me, eventually she agreed to come out for a drink with me so we could talk, by this time Lisa’s job had ended, and she moved back to Sonning Common to live with her father, I picked Lisa up and we went to the local pub, I spent the evening begging Lisa to come back to me, and that whatever was wrong we could put it right.

Lisa invited me back to her home for coffee, promising me she would finally tell me why she had broken up with me. As we sat in the kitchen with our coffee Lisa told me she had in fact been pregnant with my baby, but it was wrong to have my baby as I am a spiritualist medium, the elders at her catholic church had advised her to terminate the pregnancy, as I was a spiritualist medium because demons were working through me, and she had in fact conceived a demons baby. I was horrified and could not believe what I was hearing, Lisa told me she had terminated the pregnancy a week after ending our relationship, saying she had gone back to her catholic faith, because in her catholic teaching she knew it was wrong to be with a spiritualist medium. I felt deeply sick in the pit of my stomach, that she had aborted our child because of my spiritual practice and knowledge, by this time we were both crying, Lisa said her elders had told her she had sinned by being with me, and she had broken the first commandment.

I the lord am your God you shall not have other Gods besides me.

I reminded Lisa that I am a Christian Spiritualist, and that we pray to the same God as the catholic church, and that there is only one God for everybody no matter what the different religions choose to name that God. I reminded Lisa that I wear a cross and know of Jesus Christ and the christ light, and had spoken to Jesus in meditation and given messages to people from him, and that Jesus is the true example of my knowledge he lived and died and rose again into eternal life, I reminded Lisa of her telling me about people speaking in tongues in her church, and were they sure that in fact demons were not communicating through them and they were actually speaking the words of demons. I told Lisa about all the sexual and physical abuse committed on young people by catholic priests and nuns. By this time I was very angry and told Lisa, that the devil and his demons were alive and well and working through the catholic church, and that her elders were being controlled by demons through their ignorance and hypocrisy, and that I thought the catholic church was against abortion, stating the 5th commandment.

Thou shall not kill.

How could she and the church elders justify killing an innocent life, when in their own belief system God commands them not to kill. Lisa told me the church elders justified her having an abortion as our child was the son of Satan, and would inflict great evil on our earth. I was very angry, I felt so dirty that Lisa believed I worked with and was being controlled the devil, and betrayed by Lisa, believing that our child had been conceived through an act of love, also absolutely mortified that our child had been murdered by religious ignorance and hypocrisy, that I thought only existed in medieval times. Our relationship was now over, I drove home sat down asking God Angels and Spirit Guides to give our baby safe transition into spirit and healing, the hurt from this has continued to this day. The fact that our child was murdered by Lisa and her catholic church elders because of me being a spiritualist medium, has made me sick to the core of my being. It has taken me thirty seven years to write about this and put it out there, hoping healing will come, so that I can forgive and through my knowledge and mediumship end religious ignorance and hypocrisy forever.

Stephen Rowlands