Just A Dream

 Perhaps my life so far has been just a dream, my dream ebbs away into yesterday as I become conscious of the new day, a heart without hurt, a mind without torment, a soul without regret, is surely a miraculous thing as the morning sun heralds in a new day, as I awaken to this new dawn serene in heart and mind, what about my lady is she just a dream, my heart fills with loving warmth as I  contemplate the dream, my heart  knowing she is my love today and everyday.

My thoughts conspire a new invention to live life as a lucid dream, for the future is the undiscovered country for me to explore, and create with calm mind and good heart, no longer just a dream but a garden of creation as Eden once fabled was, the apple bitten the snake defied, I can now journey on my path with love as my guide.

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A LOST SOUL :- Chapter 3 First Steps

Wondering how to write about my 37 years of service to spirit, I cannot remember everything in chronological order, but I have many memories, and often find myself relaying those memories to others, by saying I will tell you a story, a story that fits in with the conversation at the time, and hopefully inspires and teaches at the same time, so now with this blog I will relay to you my memories, and I really hope you enjoy reading my story.

During my time of sitting in development circle and attending Slough Spiritualist Church, there were a few people who would encourage me, on my spiritual pathway as a developing healer and medium, but there were also a few who saw me as a complete upstart, due to my young age and inexperience of life, there was a lot of talk about me some to my face and some behind my back, as to my suitability to become a platform medium, and unfortunately some would speak unkindly about me to the demonstrating medium that evening, two mediums I remember in particular were Marjorie Nolan and Mrs Weekes, Marjorie Nolan said to me one evening from the platform, that I was not spiritually gifted at all and maybe in 10 years time, I maybe able to pick up a glimmer of something from spirit, and to stop wasting spirits energy, and that I would never be good enough to work on the platform, the church was full everyone looking at me as she tore my character and my personality to shreds, with a very smug looking Frank the church president smirking at me, I was 19 years old and I felt totally decimated when I left the church that evening, Mrs Weekes was just plain horrid to me on and off the platform, one time  outside of the church, she asked me my star sign, I told her my star sign was Gemini, she then ripped into me telling me all that was negative about being a Gemini, the real dark side of the star sign and she told me that the dark side of Gemini was me.

One evening I walked into church and sitting in the foyer, was the lovely medium Mrs Brotherton, a medium who always demonstrated with a lot of humour, as her spirit guides would always show her pies and sausages floating above peoples heads, Frank the church president was arguing with a lady about me, saying that I would never make a platform medium, the lady arguing in my defence saying how would you know he has a lot of life ahead of him, I did not know what to say so I went into the church and sat down, although I was angry with Frank for talking about me in that way, during the demonstration of mediumship Mrs Brotherton came to me with a message from spirit, telling me I was very gifted and one day a door would open, and all my gifts would be waiting for me, and many people would come to watch and listen to me, and through the gifts of spirit great teaching healing and upliftment would be given through me, I was obviously over the moon with the message, I had received from spirit as it was a endorsement of my spiritual pathway, and service to spirit, also wiping the smug smirk off Frank’s face was pure gold, although 39 years later I have not reached the state of development that spirit spoke of that night, I live in the knowledge that life is a process of spiritual development, and all will come at the right time if I continue to develop, so I say to all young and old know in your heart that you wish to serve spirit, stay within your truth and go as far as spirit wish to take you, I knew within my own heart that I had found my niche in life, and serving spirit from the platform was something that I was going to do, no amount of criticism was going to deter me from my purpose and pathway.  

  

In 1982 I had not sat for spiritual development for 2 years, my spirit guides were constantly saying to me, “We want to work through you on the platform” this nagging went on and on, until finally I gave up and said to them “OK I GIVE UP YOU WIN, I WILL WORK ON THE PLATFORM, BUT IF I MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.” And I started writing to local churches, offering myself to serve their churches on the platform. As I had not opened to spirit for a couple of years, except to send out absent healing , or channel healing in the healing sanctuary, I needed to re establish my link with spirit, so I joined a open development circle, at Slough Spiritualist Church. The circle was run by a guy called Harry and his lady wife, I have never liked open circles as I feel they are dangerous, because people can come and go on a weekly basis, so the energies change, a lot because of this also you don’t know what level of spirit people are bringing in with them, but this open circle had a few regular sitters, so it should be ok to sit, and attune my mediumship with spirit again.

We sat typically male female next to each other, to balance the energies the idea being, that the male energy would protect the female energy, if a lower form spirit got into the circle. I was sat next to a young lady named Sue, every week she would bring through in trance, a spirit claiming to be Mary Queen of Scots. But something did not feel right with this spirit, so I went along to Langley Library, and researched the life of Mary Queen of Scots, now armed with the necessary information, I went along to open circle to check this spirit out, but methinks this spirit was one step ahead of me, and was aware of my plans to check her or it out. As we sat I spoke to the spirit, as it was coming through Sue in trance, Sue’s head was turned to face me, her eyes were big and jet black her face contorted with anger, the vibration of rage, became stronger and stronger in the room. As this spirit was moving Sue’s head to look at other sitters, the spirit seemed to be linking with other sitters, because as soon as she had looked at them, the sitters were overcome by a strong feeling of nausea, a couple of people started vomiting.

My breathing got deeper and deeper, it was my Zulu guide Zangu, starting to come through me in trance, I was very happy for Zangu to come through, and allowed him to do so, as I had no idea of how to get rid of this evil spirit. Through me in trance Zangu, cut the energy lines between the evil spirit and the sitters, people were starting to recover, then Zangu turned me towards Sue and the evil spirit, and channeling very powerful energy through me, looking out of myself I could see lots of different coloured, beams of light shooting out of me, reds, yellows, blues, coming from me and into Sue’s aura, to expel the evil spirit from her, a couple of minutes later the evil spirit was expelled from Sue, and sent back to wherever it came from. Zangu stepped back from me but my oriental guide Sun Si Sin, stepped into me in trance, and spoke through me to the circle about protection, he reminded the circle to make sure the circle was protected, as well as each sitter should make sure they are protected, as there are low level spirit that are attracted to the light of the circle, and will want to attach themselves to the sitters, as was the case with the so called Mary Queen of Scots.

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My oriental guide stood back and I regained my senses, Harry then appeared to go into “trance,” and he said virtually what my oriental guide had said, I was a bit put out by this, but hey ho each to there own, I was glad the circle and sitters were safe. I was also perturbed by the lack of understanding, for the need of spiritual protection, as it had been drummed into me at Berenice’s circle, I had put my protection in place during the opening prayer, that is why I was unaffected by the low level spirit, which was good really as someone with protection, and strong spirit guides was there to sort the situation out. I only needed this circle to regain my attunement to spirit, so would only stay in it for as long as was necessary.

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On another evening in Harry’s open circle, he wanted to try out new things with us, so he asked each of us to bring in a personal item, so we could do psychometry on each others items, and give readings from the items, for those who do not know what psychometry is, everything is energy and energy has its own vibrational frequency, so everything we wear or touch, we imprint our own vibrational frequency on it. those who are sensitive and can read and understand vibration, are very good at psychometry, you could give someone a reading off their socks if necessary, simply because the wearer had imprinted their vibration onto the socks, I do get some funny looks when I say that but it is true. I had already done some psychometry in Berenice’s circle, so was happy to do psychometry again, as it would help with my attunement, as being able to read vibration as a medium is very important. As spirit do communicate a lot with emotion, and yes our emotions have their own vibrational frequency, to as I said everything is energy.

I was handed a silver pocket watch by Hannah one of the sitters, as I held the pocket watch in my hand, within my minds eye I could see an old man digging up cabbages, I felt strongly the old man was Hannah’s Grandfather, and that he had trouble with his knees in life, I relayed this information to Hannah, and she confirmed the watch belonged to her Grandfather, and that he had an allotment, and one of her memories of him, was of him digging up cabbages on his allotment. I was pleased I was able to pick this information up, and connect Hannah with her Grandfather, I passed the pocket watch back to her, and she gasped I said what’s a matter, she said this watch has not worked for years but now its working, and sure enough the pocket watch was ticking away, I cannot say why the watch started working, after years of not working, but it confirms to me Hannah’s Grandfather was with her.

I left Harry’s circle a few weeks later, as I felt it had served its purpose, my attunement to spirit had been regained on a mediumnistic level, on 5th January 1983 I did my first ever solo platform, at Slough Spiritualist Church, this was a big test for me and spirit, for me to prove to myself and others, that I am a platform medium, and for spirit to back there mouth up and work through me on platform, as they had been nagging me to do, for the previous 2 years the night was a success, and I was now assured that spirit truly wanted to work through me on platform, doing public demonstrations of mediumship.

I was approached by Ann Pert a stalwart of Slough Spiritualist Church, and medium of 40 plus years, a sweet but very strong lady who was in her mid eighties, to demonstrate mediumship for her spiritualist group at the old Slough library, I was very honoured to be asked by Ann to serve her group, as she was a knowledgeable and respected medium, as I was in between  jobs at the time, I agreed to serve spirit at her group on a Wednesday afternoon, the Wednesday afternoon came along the meeting was held in a large room on the second floor of the library, I walked in and there was Ann with around 30 pensioners sitting in a circle, Ann then dropped the bombshell, that she expected everyone to get a message from spirit, I told her I did not think I would be able to give everyone a message, but would certainly give it a try, after the opening prayer I commenced to give messages from spirit, the energy was very strong that day, and we managed to give everyone a short message from spirit, although afterwards I was very tired and mentally drained, there was one old gentleman who has remained in my memory since that day, alas I cannot remember his name but during his message, spirit were talking to him about his automatic writing, for those who do not know what automatic writing is, it is where spirit guide the hand of the channel, to write the words they wish to communicate, afterwards he struck up a conversation with me about his automatic writing, as I remember a very interesting conversation, as he had been automatic writing for years, he visited me at my home a couple of times to show me his automatic writing, he had thousands of pages of writing containing teaching and messages from spirit, if only it could have been made into a book, it could have helped so many understand the workings of spirit life and the universe, a lovely man and a true servant of spirit, I will always remember him, 

I began writing to churches to see if they would book me to serve them as a platform medium, back in the day before email and facebook that’s how we did it, to get cancellation work last minute bookings when the serving medium, could not demonstrate that evening, one of the first churches that got back to me was Maidenhead Spiritualist  Church, as the medium had cancelled for that evening, she told me that she had tried ten other mediums, but they were unavailable so we thought we would try you, at the time I used to walk right in front of the person to give them their message from spirit, this led to a few complaints as people in the congregation, liked to see and hear the medium from the front not twisting their necks around to see the medium, I replied that’s how I work, I was told they were happy with the work done that evening, but if I wished to serve their church again, I had to learn to speak from the front of the church,  so from that day on with my guides we learned to give messages from the front of the church, although the energy seemed weaker from the front, but it gradually grew stronger and it was a very valuable lesson for me to learn.

I learned in Berenice’s circle to take my shoes off when working with spirit, for earth power, as spirit are a form of energy, that we have not learned how to record and measure as yet, but it was best to be earthed for safety reasons, as you have an earth on an electric plug. And to draw natural power from the earth, so I went around the church platforms, demonstrating mediumship not wearing my shoes, I became known as the medium who takes his shoes off, one night at Hayes Spiritualist Church, I kept my shoes on as the church had been flooded, and the floor was still wet, I was concerned I might get a bit of trench foot, but was also concerned blocking earth power may affect my link with spirit, but my need to protect my feet won, I went onto the platform and demonstrated mediumship, the demonstration went well, and after the demonstration a guy sitting in a wheelchair with no legs approached me. He said to me “my guides are telling me you should keep your shoes off when on the platform” he had never seen me demonstrate before, and had no knowledge of me not wearing my shoes whilst demonstrating, WOW I thought what a way to teach me, spirit send  me a man with no legs to tell me to keep my shoes off, I will never ever forget how spirit got the message to me, that night and often use that memory, to teach students how spirit work.

I met a lot of lovely people at Hayes Spiritualist Church, and I have fond memories of them all, particularly Bert, and Rocky, Margaret Hanks, Anne Walker, Annie, Ida Escott, Derek Thurlbeck, and Mark Deville. I remember one night giving Derek Thurlbeck a message from platform, his Egyptian guide was telling him via me, he was going to move away from mediumship and teach spiritual philosophy, the world had enough mediums it needed more teachers. Derek was very put out about this message, and he approached me angrily after the service he said to me, ” I am going to be a medium, I am meant to be a medium not a philosopher, you got that all wrong.” I replied “we shall see” 10 years later I was at a church somewhere, and a person said to me “do you know Derek Thurlbeck” I replied yes I know him the person, told me Derek had now given up his mediumship, and was teaching philosophy, well blow me down I replied, I told Derek 10 years ago he would be doing philosophy, and he did not believe me, teaching me we should never doubt what spirit tell us, because they can see the bigger picture a lot more than we can.

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One of the platform mediums of the day who I really admired, and looked up to was Derek Markwell, very energetic, funny, and a great communicator for spirit, I suppose I actually took on some of his style when demonstrating, because the way he would communicate the address and spirit messages, in a down to earth way would really touch people on a heart level, raising the energy and vibration making spirit communication so much easier, for spirit and Derek as the channel, rather than some of the more flowery monotone mediums of the day, his services were very uplifting for all those who attended.

I was serving Ashford Spiritualist Church one summers evening in 1986, it was a Sunday service, I was met by Sheila a lady who I knew from Bracknell Spiritualist Church, she informed me that Derek Markwell who was now sadly suffering from MS and his lady wife were to be present for the service, can you imagine my delight and terror knowing one of my platform heroes, would actually be sitting in the congregation watching me demonstrate mediumship, and the thought of Derek being in the congregation quite honestly terrified me, it was like all my spiritual development and myself were under the microscope, as Derek Markwell was a medium who I truly respected,  as I stepped up to the platform I took my jacket off to hang over the chair, swung my jacket round from my shoulder and knocked a vase of flowers flying, smashing the vase and flowers on the floor, “Oh Shame Where Is Thy Blush” I really wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, I could not apologise enough, the congregation erupted in laughter and I was hoping the destroyed flowers were not a bad omen for the service.

From experience myself and my spirit guides settled quickly to regain our link, as it is the quality of the communication that is paramount, not the mediums embarrassment, it came the time to give the inspired address, I looked at Derek and he looked back at me with so much support in his eyes it was very humbling for me I looked at my guides and said to them “Lets Do It” and we carried on after the service, Sheila came to me and said to me “Derek wants to speak with you” OMG I thought he is going to tell me I’m crap, and that I was under developed to be a platform medium, as he struggled to walk towards me on his walking sticks, I said to Derek “its ok Derek I will come to you” he replied Its ok son I will come to you, he walked up to me looked me straight in the eye and said, “you carry on son great service you carry on” I was absolutely relieved he did not tell me off, and it was so amazing to be encouraged by one of my peers, I told him he was one of my heroes and that I had always admired his work, he said don’t be daft son we do what we do for spirit, I will always treasure this memory.    

Stephen Rowlands

   

Cruelty Of Time

Time passes by the clock ticks and tocks, my solar plexus fills with warm ripples of loving emotion, as the time comes closer to being with you, alas to soon the time beckons for us to be apart the hungry maggot awakes, feeding on my regret at leaving you gnawing at my emotions, my longing to be with you again begins before I depart, time can be so cruel.

Time ebbs away as our hearts and lips embrace, a serene moment in time, if only time would not tick and tock, then we can manifest the serenity of love in the moment, time falling into slumber but physical time moves forward in motion, our bodies will fade and die, time can be so cruel, the truth is our love will live forever within the mind of eternity, as I think of you  let our hearts not grieve for each other when we are apart, let our hearts be mindful of our love vanquishing the cruelty of time.   

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Humility

In my weakness I embraced humility and it became my greatest strength, and in my strength I found my truth,  a child of creation born from the stars,  as all are creation, no greater than the sky no lower than the dirt,  gifted and flawed acceptance of myself and others is my virtue, and by the grace of creation go I, on mother earth I stand reaching out to the sky and stars above, balance in heart and mind, with  humility as my guide. 

Stephen Rowlands

 

Coloured Paper and Shiny Buttons

White line high up in the sky, oh how I wish I could fly, my eyes the world to see, heart free as air to embrace, in awe of this wonder of creation. Feet firmly planted on mother earth, my minds eye gazing on the blue orb where I reside, in infinite space I am aware I exist in an existence shackled by human consciousness, where there is always a price to pay.

We place value on everything, but no value on life, enslaved to the devils of money and status,  makes demons of us all,  as we do what we can to get, a pocketful of the coloured paper and shiny buttons we need. Survival or success are the two divisions in life, the have nots and the haves,are divided by greed, it is only those who  succeed, can afford their mouths to feed.

Coloured paper and shiny buttons have dominion over our world, we the willing servants, bowing to the rule of coloured paper and shiny buttons, our masters placed over us. The banks we fill to bulging, spew out coloured paper from holes in the wall, people go hungry and starve, for lack of coloured paper and shiny buttons, no medical treatment, illness, suffering, and death. for those without a pocketful of coloured paper shiny buttons, we kill and steal all to gain more coloured paper and shiny buttons.

We the human race value and live in material ignorance, we need to embrace a simple truth, money is just coloured paper and shiny buttons, all of creation has been given to us free of charge, we must live free together, the value of life is Love, Kindness, Compassion, Tolerance, and Peace for all, we must care for the source of life Mother Earth, who we pollute and destroy all for coloured paper and shiny buttons, one day the human race will be destroyed, for the love and greed of coloured paper and shiny buttons.

 

 

Walking In The Autumn Sun Of My Life

In reflection of my life’s  pathway, all is lost and won, I have walked this far. Regrets of my thoughts and actions in past life fade away, as the unseen creation beckons me to new beginnings, the ever decreasing circle of physical life, aware that now I am walking in the autumn sun of physical life.

The time has come to prepare for the winter of physical life, as the sun will surely set one day, now is the time to gracefully accept old age, and take things easier, I floated on the breeze of life, never settling as my self illusion took me on many a wrong path, life and love all so confusing, when the lie becomes more favourable than the truth.

Knowing, living, speaking, writing, my truth with open heart for all to see and share, is not enough in this material world of money and possession, as I seek to settle somewhere, to write and create, with my lady to love and home comforts to share.  As I and we gradually fade away, on life’s physical pathway.

Stephen Rowlands 31 – 10 – 17 

 

 

 

Fill Your Hearts With Love

I went along one evening to a spiritual development circle, run by my friend Kevin Trefry, he said to me your not going to sit there and do nothing, I want you to give the meditation. I was a bit put out by this as I was very tired, and in need of recharging, I just wanted to just sit and enjoy the closeness of spirit. And do some of the mediumship exercises with the students, as I feel it is important to keep developing, and to maintain and strengthen our links with spirit, so I asked my spirit guides, what would be the best meditation to give to the circle. My spirit guide Jerome a Franciscan Monk came forward, and said ask them, to draw unconditional love from God into there hearts, to fill there hearts with unconditional love.

After the opening prayer I asked the students, to visualise the love of God, coming from above in white light, filling their hearts with divine unconditional love. The meditation began, myself and Kevin watched over the students, after 10 minutes or so I called the students back from their meditation, and I asked them each in turn, what they experienced during the meditation, and they all felt very empowered, and a great connection to all things, The lesson in the meditation is that love is the power of all things and is our connection to all things, the next day Jerome came to me, and inspired me with a poem, from the previous nights meditation.

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Fast forward to 22/10/17, I was inspired to give Jeromes poem as a reading at the divine service Jennings Street Christian Spiritualist Church Swindon. The poem was well received by those in attendance, Jerome then went on to inspire me with the address from the poem, he inspired me to say that love is a choice, as everything in life is a choice, out of the vast range of emotions that we can feel, love is the emotion that we rarely choose, when we are faced with some form of adversity or negativity in life. We tend to rely on our base instincts such as anger, confusion, jealousy, a loss of self worth. When people are horrible to us, or we make a mistake in life through our choices in life, all this comes from our ego our pride kicks in, and we react seeking to hurt those who have hurt us, or anger when our plans go wrong, making the situation worst for ourselves and those around us.

Let us step onto the back foot rather than reacting with hurt, let us seek the solution to our problems with love, and ask ourselves what is the best solution to this problem with love, rather than always choosing our base instinct ego, to solve our problems, causing greater disharmony to the spirit of ourselves and others, when we think feel and act with love, we are connecting to our higher selves, our soul the true part of us, that lives within what we call God, whilst our spirit lives and learns through our minds and bodies, in this material world of the earth plane. Love is a great spectrum of all emotion, at its lowest level we have hatred, anger, greed, jealousy, avarice, sloth. at its highest level there is divine unconditional love.

We spirits who live and learn in this physical and material world, find ourselves going up and down the sliding scale, of the emotional spectrum of love, let love be our choice in all things, to heal our hurt feelings and calm negative situations, let love be our guide, not only with family and friends, but in all things and with all peoples, and in doing so we are putting ego in its place, and making life better for ourselves and all around us, helping us to find the inner peace we so often crave, when I first got into spiritualism, I was taught it is a big part of our spiritual development, to turn negative into positive that is why we are faced with negativity and adverse conditions at times, I truly believe we are here to learn how to love, that is our spiritual purpose for being here, the ascended masters who teach through the religions who adopted them, they all teach love its about time we all pricked up our ears, listened to the teachings of love from the masters, take those teachings within ourselves and live them, because surely we are all fed up with the terrible things that are going on around us and in the world, it needs us to make love, kindness, compassion, tolerance, Our way of life and truth.

THANKYOU FOR READING

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Whilst writing this blog, I was taken back to the time when I used to sit on the back doorstep, at home in Langley my nan would be cooking Sunday dinner. I would be writing inspired notes for the address for the service that night, I have walked through 2 dark nights of the soul in life, and in the dark night I missed those times, but feel very blessed right now those times are now back. With me so I say to all who feel they are walking in darkness, be true to yourself, love yourself, love life no matter how dark it gets, and the sun will rise again.

NAMASTE

 

My Grieving For Dad Helping Me To Become A More Compassionate Medium

For many years I could never understand why people, would be so sad for the loss of their loved ones in spirit, their grieving causing them so much emotional pain, and sadness years after their beloved ones, had passed over the veil into spirit. The people I speak of are spiritualists, I stood beneath the spiritualist banner there is no death, and I wrongly felt that the knowledge of the truth there is no death, would be comforting enough for the pain and sadness of grieving,  to cease but because I had not suffered the loss of a loved one, I did not understand the emotional kaleidoscope of grieving, even when people were getting messages via a medium, from there loved ones in spirit the pain and sadness still remained with them.

Whilst in spiritual development circle, an oriental spirit guide known to us as Li, came through his channel Ian Watts in trance, as he often did to give us some teaching of universal life in spirit. In his talk he was saying that we should not mourn our loved ones in spirit, as it is only the physical loss of our loved ones that we grieve for, and this to him grieving for our loved ones was selfish of us to do, he accepted that when we first lose a loved one there should be a period of mourning for the physical loss of the loved one, he went on to say that our loved ones are now in a realm of light, and are  living within the divine energy of universal and unconditional love. We should be happy for them and allow them to continue, there journey in spirit as they are truly now spirit, and we should love them as spirit beings, and not selfishly mourn their physical loss, over a long period of time.

I held onto Li’s teaching for years believing it was selfish to grieve, for the physical loss of our loved ones, although I never spoke of this teaching as I believed, it would cause more hurt to those who had lost loved ones, it is my role as a medium to bring upliftment to others through spiritual teachings, but looking at Li’s teaching from a spirit perspective, his teaching is correct  and I believe that this teaching, should be given totally from a spirit perspective, to those who are emotionally ready to receive it. As I have often thought we never see things from spirits side of life, and how it effects them in their interactions with us on earth, and in doing so this makes us the selfish ones.

Sadly my Dad passed over the veil into spirit 14/10/15, although his passing was expected as he was very ill, I stood by his bedside with my mother at Wexham Park Hospital, the doctor had just pronounced him physically dead, I held his hand and his voice loudly spoke to me in my head in his voice, “LOOK AFTER YOUR MOTHER” which was totally my Dad as he worships the ground my Mum walks on, my brother arrived and we said our farewells to my Dad, we went back to my mothers I was stunned it was as if time had stood still, but life was going on as everybody and everything was going about their daily business, I raised a glass of whiskey and ice Dads favourite drink to say cheers thanks for everything to him, Dads funeral was arranged for 03/11/15, to give friends from overseas a chance to assemble for his funeral, I took Mum to see Dad in the funeral home, as I stood over Dad in his coffin there was the real sickening energy of physical death, permeating deep into my gut, a feeling that stayed with me for a very long time, my mother said it is so cold in here Elwyn doesn’t like the cold, as she touched his cheek I said Mum he is not here this is just his shell, I took my mother home and prepared Dads Eulogy, as I was nominated to give it, as I was used to talking in front of people, my family sees that I have my uses.

                               SIGNS

The week after my fathers passing to spirit, I had three demonstrations of mediumship to do, I debated with myself whether I should do them or not, as I was an emotional and mental wreck functioning only to be strong  for family, and cope with the rigours of my job, I made the decision to cancel my platform bookings, I knew the churches would understand. Queen was my dads favourite band, I got into the shuttle bus to go pick up staff, I switched on the radio The Show Must Go On by Queen, came blasting out of the radio this could only have been my Dad, as he was a very selfless man, and wanted his children to live life to the full, you may scoff but I know this is the truth.

I have often thought that the belief that our loved ones in spirit, leave a penny when they are near to be a fairytale, a few weeks after my Dads passing to spirit, I called out to my Dad, come on Dad if you are near give me a sign. I proceeded to hoover my flat, I had hoovered every square inch of my flat, as I was putting the hoover away, I looked down and there was a shiny penny looking up at me from the floor. How could I have missed that my flat is tiny, I couldn’t have missed it, no its just a fairytale, in the morning I walked down the bottom of the stairs, opened the door to go to work, and there was a shiny penny looking up at me from the paving slab, now I believe spirit leaving pennies as signs to be true.

                     REALISATION

My dad makes his presence felt most days I speak to him every morning, but I still miss him wish he was still here to talk to and share a joke with, and yes Li that makes me selfish, I live in the physical world where we need our loved ones near, we need their physical presence, as much as it is wonderful to receive a message from our loved ones in spirit, nothing can take away our need to have them physically with us. As a medium I have given the messages and watched the tears flow, there is nothing I can do to dry those tears, the spiritualist message of there is no death, has failed, but with compassion and spiritual teaching we can comfort and uplift.

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TWILIGHT THOUGHTS: Navigating A Energy Shift In Service And Life 17/09/17

 

Sitting talking in the twilight smoking a cigarette, chilled wine on table, my Veronica lying beside me on my bed, we are watching A Midsummer Nights Dream. A lovely Sunday evening once upon a time I craved moments like this, but the past is gone I sit here now  within the moment feeling blessed, my road has led me here to this moment, writing my thoughts to share.

The last few weeks have been hard for me on a emotional level, where I have questioned my progress in life, my being and where I may progress to in life. With past memories showing me all that I was, there must be an answer to my visions of yesteryear, to where I am now through this gloomy grief, my heart finally grieving for my beloved father, so much I wish I had discovered about him as a person, when he was here on earth with us. With sad regret I wish I had realised my dad, was a spiritual man and wandering star his favourite song, a song that I love to.

Something happened to me that day 06/08/17 just after service, at The House Of the Good Shepherd Spiritualist Church in Uxbridge. A church that holds so many memories for me, I used to serve there in the mid 1980’s as a young medium, I have a strong memory of giving the chairpersons sister. A message from a young boy who tried to swim across the River Thames, in wartime London but he drowned halfway across, the chairperson Evelyn cried it was her son.

Standing in the church about to take my Veronica home, a powerful vision within my minds eye, of me as a young 25 year old man standing in the church, looking straight at my 57 year old self, now weary on this road of life, a lump came into my throat, I wanted to cry why I wanted to cry has caused me much pondering, my younger self had so much energy, discovering himself vocation found.  lifes journey has led me back into spiritualism, a yearning to reach my lifes purpose and full potential weary of trying to prove myself, as it is a whole new world in modern spiritualism. But press on I must as Spirit keep telling me, my niche in this new life is coming, patience is not my strong point, but patient I must be, my emotions have been all over the place, is this the massive energy shift of the divine masculine and feminine, manifesting here on earth, I have really been questioning myself, my sexuality, and my place in this life, and what I need to become.

My link with Spirit has become stronger, as I have been doing more trance work, so I was confident when I headed to The Boudoir in Soho London, 10/09/17 to demonstrate mediumship to a LGBT audience. Who I must say were very welcoming and friendly, a very atmospheric venue I was sure the demonstration would go well, the organiser of the event was expecting me to prove survival after death, but alas my demonstration was mostly psychic, although the messages given were very accurate and well received, there was one lady who could place two elderly communicators from Spirit, and the message they gave her, but to the organisers dismay I worked mostly on a psychic link, and made her feelings known to me. All I could put it down to was the fact that I have been feeling down of late, Spirit tend to work more psychically when the channel is feeling low,  I do feel  strongly to say that messages from Spirit Guides, are still good evidence as they tell us of things, that are going on around us, and that to me is still evidence of survival, Spirit Guides were once people who walked the earth, and can see what is going on around us, so to me there messages are evidential proof of survival. Where else would I or any other medium get that information from, and I ask why should messages from Spirit Guides be termed as psychic, the organiser did say she booked me to demonstrate mediumship, and I feel I did as it was billed as a psychic event, I can see the irony in it, the difference between psychic and mediumship needs to be clarified.

I again stood in at The House of The Good Shepherd Uxbridge, 24/09/17 as the booked medium had cancelled, my Spirit Guide Jerome communicated a thoughtful address, and loved ones communicated there messages, with accuracy, love, and humour. A total contrast from the demo at The Boudoir, this energy shift is effecting me on all levels, I hope now things are beginning to settle, as I have found it most challenging, and I hope a better me will emerge  from it, for now I continue my journey of psychic mediumship and self discovery.

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