2025 was a year of change and new beginnings for me, I had separated from my wife 15/10/24, I was living in a room in a shared house, hardly ideal living conditions for me. I was ashamed because I was 64 years old and I found myself washed up on the shore of life, starting from scratch once again, my house mates were half my age. I must admit to feeling a complete failure, but I had a roof over my head and a bed thankful that I was not homeless, I referred to my room as my bolt hole. Whilst I grieved for my marriage, and excited by a new relationship with my girlfriend Julie, this created juxtaposed emotions within me, sadness over my deceased marriage, and contemplating whether I should have entered into a new relationship so soon after separating from my wife. As I had only just started divorce proceedings in December 2024. I saw in the new year with Julie as we stood in the doorway of my digs watching the fireworks, smoking a cigar drinking whisky. I could only wonder what the new year would bring.
I found myself going through a maelstrom of emotions, Julie brought into my life a selfless unconditional love, that gave me the emotional support and healing that I needed, and kept me from sinking into depression and alcohol. I will be forever grateful for her presence in my life at that time, she kept me going when I felt all was lost. To my surprise during this time I found that my mediumship was getting stronger. I can only suggest that when I was living with the ex wife, that we were living in a state of inertia, now I was free from that state of inertia, vibrational energies around me had changed to becoming more vibrant, and I was able to reach up to spirit with a much clearer energy, that greatly improved my link to spirit. I now realise that at that time as it is now is a time of spiritual development, to keep moving forward no matter what was happening, to become at peace with myself taking my vibrational frequency to a higher level. I often tell people that we have to create the right energies for spirit to be able to communicate in, that energy is LOVE. My spiritual development is now developing love through awakening Christ consciousness within.
Before leaving the marital home, I applied for social housing with Hampshire County Council. After filling in the lengthy application form and proving that I had the right to apply for social housing in Hampshire. I was told it could take up to two years to get accommodation. I was pleased that my application had been accepted, and I had taken another step towards creating a new life, a life that gave me security and a forever home, I would bid on homes every Wednesday when homes were advertised. Working for meals on wheels I had delivered meals to many homes that were small and compact, I thought I would get one of those homes for the older person, they have what I needed a separate bedroom, lounge, bathroom, and kitchen. That I did not have to share with anyone, as I was going a bit stir crazy living in that room. 05/06/25 I was offered a property as I had a local connection through my work, 12/06/25 I went to view the property and signed for the keys to the property, it was a large flat near to where I work. I had taken on the tenancy of the flat a blank canvas that could be turned into my forever home, feeling that I had bitten off more than I could chew, as I had no money to decorate or buy white goods and furniture. But I could see the path was opening up in front of me, I had to go for it and move forward, working it out as I go.
A pension company kept emailing me, asking me to look at my pension with them, and decide on what to do with the money. I thought it was a small pension with only £500 to a £1000 in it, as I was in need of cash to invest in the decoration and kitting out of my new home. I decided to have a look at it, to my absolute surprise and delight, the pension was worth £16,400. I was very excited as I now had the money, to create and get everything I needed for my new home. As I had left my marital home with my clothes and DVD collection, I cashed in my pension and paid £4,100 in tax on my pension, this payment in tax I resent to this day, leaving me with £12,300. but enough to sort out my new home and new life. I was a bit daunted by this new project as I had never done anything like this before, 15/06/25 I gave my landlord one months notice on my room, so I had a month to transform my new home and move out of my room. I am useless at DIY so I advertised for a decorator with varying estimates, the decorator I picked decided not to show up, in desperation I put it on Facebook to ask if anyone knew of a decorator who could help me, a medium friend of mine suggested her husband Shawn, I contacted Shawn and he agreed to decorate my flat, he also agreed to build the flat pack wardrobe and install the white goods I had ordered. I will always be grateful to Shawn, for helping me out in my hour of need and for all his hard work. 15/07/25 I moved into my new home fully furnished and decorated.
The year of 2025 has been totally amazing, from down and demoralized the end of my marriage, to a complete new life with a new woman, I finally have a rock solid foundation to grow and become. As I realise I am becoming a new version of myself through spiritual development, since moving in I have opened a spiritual development circle, have done a trance sit, I hope people will visit my home for trance healing and spiritual guidance. throughout 2025 I have realised no matter how dark the day, spirit and the universe will assist us in our journey, if we put our greatest and highest good first, and keep moving forward rather than drowning in our hurt.
Sitting at home awaiting Julie my girlfriend to arrive, thinking of the drive to premier inn Blackburn south. Contemplating my third visit north to serve spirit, as previous blogs will testify, knowing I am honored and privileged to be invited to serve northern churches three years in a row. Knowing I want to be the best medium that I can be for spirit, and reminding myself we mediums are nothing without spirit, we mediums all to often get caught up in the hype of showbiz spiritualism, leading to exaggerated expectations and ego, I love to travel in my service to spirit, I was told by spirit years ago that I would demonstrate all over the country. It is great to serve new churches and to meet so many dedicated people who run spiritualist churches.
This years visit is bitter sweet as in the last ten months I have separated from my wife, final order of divorce due in late August, now I have a girlfriend and a new home, it has been a rollercoaster of upheaval change and emotions. It was as if I fell asleep in one world and awoke in another, the last ten months have been a time of adjustment for me, adapting to my new world whilst saying a long slow painful farewell to my old world, throughout the last ten months whilst serving spirit in churches. I have found that my mediumship has got stronger and more evidential, I realise that as my marriage was coming to an end I was in a state of inertia, now out of that state of inertia energies are rising and my mediumship is becoming stronger. I have struggled to adapt to my new world as I loved my wife deeply, Julie has been very patient and understanding with me, it still feels strange at times not having my wife around anymore, and not sensing that beautiful togetherness I thought we had.
Sitting at breakfast this morning. with memories of bringing my wife here in 2023, it hit me like a freight train that I had got my life back my life has been reset back to as it was before I met my wife in 2017, when I dwell on my memories of my wife I am living in a past lament. My life has been reset for a reason so now I must embrace it, there must be much to do, for my life to be reset in this way. This thought is very empowering, as I have always felt I am a leaf being blown by the spirit breeze to wherever spirit need me to be, the sense of freedom and purpose I feel right now is indescribable, last year northern light 2024 I grieved for lost love, it was very hard to raise my vibration out of my grief to spirit somehow we managed, this year northern light 2025 is a journey of development discovery and service.
It was great to be serving Clitheroe Spiritualist Church once again. Myself and Julie received a warm welcome from Angela, the new president of the church and her husband Mark, Angela asked me to pick a song or a hymn for service, I picked the hymn Open My Eyes, a traditional spiritualist hymn and one of the first hymns I sang in a spiritualist church 47 years ago, Open My Eyes is still my favourite hymn, I was delighted when Angela told me she was very happy that I had picked a traditional spiritualist hymn. The energy within the church was warm and friendly, a good energy to open to spirit. I took my coffee into the mediums room to meditate and open my channel to spirit, as I opened heart and mind to spirit. I felt the presence of an angel, and George who always calls out his name when I open to spirit, and a black cat.
I was asked to light a candle on platform before I opened the service in prayer, I asked for the light of the candle to bring healing to all in need, opened in prayer followed by the lords prayer. We sang Open My Eyes, then it was time for me to demonstrate mediumship, I see this as a time to connect loved ones in spirit to loved ones on earth, it is a privilege to pass on messages from loved ones in spirit, and I am so very humbled to be a part of that connection. Not only for evidence of survival after physical death, this is secondary to me what is more important is the love, healing, comfort, upliftment, and guidance. A message from a loved one in spirit can bring to a loved one on earth, I was taught that evidence should be given purely for recognition purposes only. This became apparent, when I was connecting a grandmother in spirit to her teenage grandson, she gave her grandson evidence, that his mother sitting next to him did not know. The grandmother in spirit gave her grandson on earth a birthday cake, he confirmed he had just had his seventeenth birthday.
After service he came to me and thanked me for the message, he told me the reason he comes to Clitheroe Spiritualist Church is to talk to his grandmother. I was humbled by this, as yet again it reminds me of why we mediums do what we do for spirit, the heart to heart connection from spirit communicators to their beloved on earth, messages from spirit should always be given through the heart, as they bring upliftment comfort and healing to the bereaved. There is great purpose in spirit communication, to bring not only upliftment comfort and healing, also to bring teaching to raise the collective consciousness of the human soul. Towards the end of service I was giving a lady a message from a spirit lady who came with a black cat, as I mentioned the cat, a dog who had been sitting quietly throughout the service, started growling and barking at something behind me, Angela said this was the best evidence of the night. Another example I would like to share with you 30/07/25 I was serving Cadoxten Spiritualist Church, I gave a message to a young man from several of his loved ones in spirit, after service he told me he walked into church as a sceptic, but messages I passed onto him from his loved ones in spirit, were on point and accurate, and that he would attend church every week to learn more about life after death. The path of spiritual service is so sacred and divine, to be able to bring enlightenment and healing to all who seek through heart to heart connection is beyond words and earthly reward.
Clitheroe Spiritualist Church
My third visit to connections of light Darwen. I must say I love to serve connections, as it is a opportunity to meet old friends, from when I used to do zoom demonstrations for them in lockdown. was lovely to see Andy, Sylvia, Karen, Alice, and Stephanie again. Connections is a high energy church and it is a privilege to open to spirit in this high energy, I am often telling people you get out of spirit communication what you put into it. There is the loving power of spirit within connections of light, because the energy of love has been created within the church by those who run it and also the people who attend. I wish more churches and centres understood, that the building they are in is a medium for spirit, and it is important that the energy of love must be created within the building, to create the right environment for spirit to communicate in. As spirit reach out to us from a realm of unconditional love. Connections also serve their community as a spiritual hub, running workshops and demonstrations from many spiritual disciplines, also raising money for local people and charities and social events. It is an honour for me to serve connections of light. As for the demonstration of mediumship, the love flowed between the spirit and physical realms, evidence was on point and accepted. As always I look forward to serving connections of light next year.
Me with Stephanie DarlingtonMe with Andy Ash
It was originally intended, that I should demonstrate transfiguration and trance at Wigan SNU Church, unfortunately Wigan had a flood and they have builders in repairing flood damage, and they would not be open in time for me and my spirit team to demonstrate. Tina the booking secretary for Wigan suggested that she would offer my demonstration of transfiguration and trance to local churches to see if anyone of them would like to host transfiguration and trance. I was delighted when Horwich National Spiritualist Church, offered to host transfiguration and trance the same night, as the Wigan demonstration would have been. Chris the president contacted me and arrangements were made.
HorwichNational Spiritualist Church, is a large church with a hundred and twenty six years of history of serving it’s community,it is an honour and privilege to serve there, I was met by the committee who opened the church. I set up the cabinetthe lovely Janet agreed to workwith me, and guide people who wanted to ask my spirit guide questions to the chair next to the cabinet. Janette told me they have trance demonstrations at Horwich, but this would be the first one with a cabinet and red light. I advised Janette that I wanted to demonstrate transfiguration and trance in the old traditional way, using the cabinet to harness spirit energy, and red light to help people to see spirit easier.
Janet introduced meto the twenty sitters in attendance. I gave a short talk about how transfiguration and trance works, what may happen within the cabinet, as I explained to the sitters something or nothing may happen, as each transfiguration and trance sit that I do is experimental and developmental. Also the safety rules the do’s and dont’s, I sat in the cabinet giving the opening prayer asking for protection and inviting my spirit team to use me as a channel for transfiguration and trance, going into my countdown meditation to trance state.
When I returned back into my physical consciousness, sitters told me they had seen my spirit guides in transfiguration describing them accurately, also some of the sitters had witnessed loved ones appear in transfiguration, the ladies who asked my spirit guide questions told me their questions were answered and now they have a greater understanding of eternal life. Many of the sitters said they experienced the healing energies from the cabinet. I left Horwich National Spiritualist Church, feeling empowered and energised that my spirit team had touched hearts, also a invitation to return next year.
Horwich National Spiritualist ChurchSitters for demonstration of transfiguration and trance
I am very muchlooking forward to serving Bankfoot SNU Church this evening, my last service of this years Northern Light. This will be the second time I have served Bankfoot, it is a large friendly spiritualist church in Bradford, tonight will be a divine service, with a inspired address and messages from loved ones. I will meditate to receive inspiration for the address from my spirit guides, inviting them to choose which of my poems to read out before I give the address. Today I will rest and meditate as I intend to drive home over night, as I am serving Bognor Regis Spiritualist Centre tomorrow evening.
Arrivingat Bankfoot SNU Church around 6pm, I had plenty of time to prepare for service, spiritual healing was being given in the main church, a lady made myself and Julie a cup of coffee. I relaxed as the church began to fill with people, I went to a quiet room to meditate, Steve who chaired for me last year again chaired for me thisyear, Steve asked me if I was going to give philosophy. I said yes as I see philosophy and teaching as a integral part of raising consciousness, spiritualism with just evidential mediumship is just a glimpse of the truth of eternal life. Knowledge should be givento allow people to put the way of eternal life, into their spiritual practice.The service began I gave the opening prayer followed by the lords prayer, then a meditation to receive spiritual healing was given by the lovely Christine, a lady read out a reading teaching us that everything happens in it’s own time. and that we are all loved and guided, I followed this with an inspired address, stating that we should be aware that we are eternal now, and that we have chosen life on the earth plane, to evolve our eternal soul and the collective consciousness of the human race,
We sang a hymn then it was time for me to connect loved ones in spirit to loved ones present in the church. The energy within the church suddenly uplifted, the messages flowed and evidence was accepted, the laughter of those in attendance really raised the energy, one message I was blessed to have given from a Jewish professor in spirit, to a Muslim lady in the congregation, showing me himself so I could give a full description of him, he also gave her a Menorah Candelabra, the lady was overjoyed to receive a message from him, as he was a very close friend and they used to share deep conversations about religion. That was the last message I closed in prayer we said the vesper, after a cup of coffee and a big slice of Victoria sponge it was time to drive home, as I am serving Bognor Regis Spiritualist Centre 10/08/25. I have come away from Northern Light 2025, feeling empowered and truly blessed, hoping to do it all again next year.
Bankfoot SNU ChurchMenorah Candelabra Me and Julie x
We often talk about how life is treating us, we never ask the question of how are we treating life. I live in the knowledge that life is a state of heart and mind, we create our lives from our vibrational state of heart and mind, life is a inner creation rather than an outward experience of perception. All life forms on this planet are conscious with their own distinct vibrational frequency, we should not underestimate the power of our thoughts and emotions, as they are powerful vibrations, with the energy to change life around us like attracts like, as spirit teaches us thought is the most powerful thing in the universe.
To Be Or Not To Be Tis The Question, Whether It Is Nobler In The Mind, To Suffer The Slings And Arrows Of Outrageous Fortune, Or To Take Up Arms Against A Sea Of Troubles, And By Opposing End Them.
Hamlet.
All consciousness has freewill, we must be respectful of this powerful freedom of thought and emotion, and be mindful of the choices we make, as we are creating our lives, life moves forward in a constant rhythm in our world of physical matter. I realise that within the natural laws governing our planet, we must always be moving forward. One door closes another door will open, this is not just an old saying. I have realised this is a truth within natural law, the problems begin when we are banging on the closed door, rather than moving forward and preparing to go through the open door. Life in our physical world of matter, is about change for the evolution of our eternal soul.
We chose to live this life on earth for the evolution of our eternal soul, when we think in terms of eternity, our short life span on this earth is less than a blink of an eye. in this life we experience many changes in mind, body, and spirit. Such as growing young to old, relationships come and go, our beloved passes away, jobs and homes come and go. These are all times of change that cause us hurt and pain, yes we must embrace our hurt and pain, and ask the questions as to why we feel the way we do, what attachments have we formed, to give us greater insight to the spiritual truths, to help us to become aware of how to conduct our lives within the flow of natural and universal law. If we are constantly banging on the closed door, this will lead to our lives to stagnate and become a state of inertia.
Rather than preparing to walk through the open door to a new life and reality, nine months ago my marriage ended, when my ex wife told me she no longer loved me. Yes I was devastated as I loved my wife deeply, I moved from a comfortable home with a beautiful willow tree on the green, to a room in a shared house, 15/10/24 sharing the bathroom and kitchen. I left with my clothes and boxes of dvd’s. As I told my ex wife this was not my first rodeo I knew exactly what I must do. Whilst embracing my sadness I looked forward, knowing I must not go down in heart and mind as I needed my job to be able to afford to live, I had registered for social housing I was bidding on homes every Wednesday, this was creating energy going forward for my new life. this was a time of preparation of letting go of my marriage, and opening the door to a new life.
Myself and an old lady friend Julie, who contacted me to see how I was during my separation, became close as she supported me through my heartbreak.A Mazda salesman contacted me to see if I wanted to rent a brand new Mazda 3 as I could not afford a brand new Mazda 3. I picked up my new Mazda 3 05/03/25. I feel my spirit guides were working with me to create a new life, as myself and Julie had separately wanted to become closer, also I needed a car upgrade as I was travelling further afield in the service of spirit. I was becoming claustrophobic in my small room in a shared house, and resentful of my ex wife for putting me in that position. I knew this was negative energy to feel and it would hold me back from moving forward, I had to change this into a positive energy as positive balances negative in universal law, so I focused my thoughts and emotions into visualising myself in a new home.
In late May I was contacted by Winchester council offering me a flat, as I had a local connection through my job with meals on wheels. On 12/06/25 I signed the contract and got the keys to my new home, my new home was a blank shell with nothing in it. I was worried that I did not have the funds to create my new home, as I am retiring next year, pension companies were contacting me to see what I wanted to do with the money within the pensions. I thought they were worth around a £1000.00, I looked at one pension and to my total surprise and delight, this pension was worth £16,300, so I cashed in this pension after tax it was worth £12,400. this gave me the funds to decorate and buy everything I need for my new home. White goods, furniture, a bed with chaise longue, carpets, the whole kit and caboodle costing me around £11000.00. I moved into my new home 15/07/25, now I am looking forward to spending the rest of my days here. Life moves forward in a constant rhythm, we must become what we need to become, in heart mind and our actions, accept the door to the life we thought we wanted has closed and prepare to go through the open door to a new life. All this was achieved through the practice of spiritual teaching, and going with the flow of universal and natural law, our lives are what we are within.
As I sit contemplating my yearly boxing day blog, I am wondering were to start, going back to October 2021.I was working as a relief worker for Two Saints at their Acton Lodge Hostel,a support worker had resigned due to his ill health giving a month’s notice, as a replacement had not been found, the manager asked me if I would like to work in the community rather than being hostel based. Working in the community would mean supporting clients in sublet accommodation, as well as clients in hostels awaiting sublet accommodation, the clients had previously been homeless suffering with drug, alcohol, and mental health issues.I jumped for this new opportunity as I wanted to do more to help clients, rather than day to day hostel duties. I explained to my manager that I had no experience of support work, but I would love to give it a try, as I hoped to become a full-time support worker, I had applied for the vacant position. this would mean I would have practical experience, and it would support my job application.
I feel I have learned important lessons during my time employed by Two Saints. I will discuss the lessons I learned throughout this blog. January 2022 started with me suffering with covid. Although I felt I had recovered enough to do my first service, which was a zoom demonstration of mediumship for Bognor Spiritualist Centre, the meeting went well although my voice became hoarse, and the meeting was called to time, fortunately before my voice gave out. A private reading with me was raffled, I was told lots of people had bought raffle tickets, because the reading would be with me, I know this sounds arrogant, but it made me feel good to know that my spirit team’s work, through me was touching heart’s helping people and making it’s mark.
I started out with a caseload of ten clients, and considered as a complex caseload, because of the client’s lifestyle, addictions, and mental health. I realise now as I am writing that I had bitten off more than I could chew, I started to realise that I had been thrown in the deep end. As a relief worker I was not entitled to travelling expenses, but I was expected to visit clients using my own car, and I had to get business insurance for my car, as at times I would have to take clients to professional appointments, such as doctors, dentists, and hospitals, or to the council, or to get benefit assessments, or to move clients from one property to another with their belongings. I was also not entitled to a company phone, as I could not give clients my personal phone number, this made things difficult, if a client wanted to phone me they had to leave a message at hostel for me, or if I needed to phone a client. I would have to drive back to hostel to phone them, or call hostel staff to call the client to give them a message from me.
In January 2022 I was interviewed for the role of support worker along with other candidates, I was unsuccessful in my application, and the job was offered to another candidate. I was a bit miffed as since October 21 I was working the vacant post without the correct renumeration, phone or training to do the job being asked of me, my manager asked me to do certain online training courses, but when I tried to do the training courses, I was not allowed to do them as I was still a relief worker. A week or so later I was told they could not employ the successful candidate in the community role, as she did not have a car or driving licence, she had started work at a hostel a bus ride from her home.
I was offered the support worker role. In hindsight I should have rejected the job offer, becauseit was clear I was second choice for the role, as a colleague reminded me a few days later. But I was happy as now. I would be working on a full-time basis, the working hours were 9am-5pm, which would allow me to earn a decent wage and accommodate my spiritual service, on the 7th February 2022 I started work aa a homeless recovery worker, not only did I have to manage my caseload, a new world of training had opened up for me, which meant I would lose alot of time to do training. I was working longer and longer hours to keep up with my caseload and the admin that comes with it, my predecessor had not done up to date support plans for the clients I had inherited from him, or arranged housing benefit for a client , which led to extra workload, with me asking lots of questions, as I had never dealt with housing benefits before.
Itwas at this point I realised I was becoming stressed, with my workload as I was working extra hours to keep up, also doing 3-4 services a week online and in person. I was not getting anytime for myself and quality time with my wife. I just seemed to be constantly working, the only respite I seemed to have was when it was time to sleep, as in the darkness of the night there was no expectation of me. and I could relax, at times I still had to meditate to relax enough to sleep, as to what I needed to do or worrying about what I may not have done was heavy on my mind, me and my wife had booked a 11 night cruise to the canary islands in March, which I was very much looking forward to, as I had never been on a ocean cruise before, and it would be a break from everything visiting new places, a time to rest and relax and spend time with my wife, who I missed as I was always working, and hoping to be inspired by the sea to write new poems.
My wife and I were very excited to travel to Portsmouth, to board our cruise ship the valiant lady 21/03/22. We were greeted with a champagne reception when we boarded, my wife and I had booked a rock star suite on deck 11 at the stern of the ship, we sailed later that day having a gorgeous steak dinner before bed time, it was an 80’s cruise and live entertainment was provided by Martin Fry of ABC, Toyah Wilcox, Annie Logan of Altered Images, and Carole Decker of T’Pau, and Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet. It was great to see them perform their hits live, over the cruise back in the day I loved all of my heart by ABC, and always wanted to see it sung live, so to watch Martin Fry singing All Of My Heart was truly my best highlight of the cruise, Veronica spent the first two days of the cruise in bed sea sick, to cut a long story short, the food was great and to a very high standard, the staff were wonderful, but other than the 80’s entertainment, there was not really much else to do on board the ship, apart from drink and lie on a sun lounger, there was also a blues band that entertained during the day in one of the bars.
Our cruise was struck by tragedy as a passenger had to be airlifted to hospital, due to a medical emergency, and we had to sail back a few hours so the helicopter could reach our ship, a man committed suicide by jumping overboard, he told his wife he was going to get some air as she was going to bed, his wife woke up 8 hours later to find that he had not returned to her, and a ship wide for him began, he captain made a tannoy announcement that the man was seen on cctv, jumping overboard and that no one else was involved, under maritime law we had to sail back to the man’s last known position, and search for him, we sailed back and the ship carried out a 100 mile search with the help of the French coastguard, once we had reached the search area me and Veronica and many passengers looked out to sea to see if we could spot him. The man was not found and an eerie silence fell upon the ship, our hearts going out to his wife and family.
Our cruise had been badly delayed, but it was no one’s fault the tragic circumstances for the delays, could not have been anticipated, it meant for me and Veronica that we spent a lot more time at sea watching movies in our suite, day trips were cancelled and our time in port was shortened, we did manage to visit Santa Cruz, Gran Canaria, Tenerife, and Lisbon. But basically it was just like being dropped off at the shops, in Tenerife me and Veronica walked around the shops and had coffee in a cafe, I remarked to Veronica “we could have done this in Eastleigh”. In Santa Cruz we hopped on board a coach trip that took us around the local sights and places of historical interest, with a very informative tour guide, that was a lovely day.
We landed back in Portsmouth 01/04/22, we saw the new Royal Navy aircraft carrier The Queen Elizabeth. to be bluntly honest I could not wait to get off the ship and go home, as I felt quite depressed this may sound very ungrateful, but due to spending a lot of time at sea with nothing much to do except eat and drink, and the tragedy that had occurred on board, coupled with the stress I thought I would escape from with this cruise, my mental health was way worse than before the cruise. I do feel blessed that me and Veronica could afford the cruise, but tragedy aside I guess cruising is not for me, tragedy aside my Veronica loved her time at sea and we may book another cruise in the future,
I returned to work 04/04/22 as expected I spent the first day replying to and actioning received emails, and visiting clients over the next 3 months my work load got heavier and heavier due to staff sickness, and being expected to cover hostel duties, as well as my own caseload and my off sick colleagues caseload, this I shared with another colleague who was also feeling stressed about he extra workload, I also had 2 complex clients that were being evicted and moved to another address, plus another client who I was trying to get sublet accommodation for, this involved a lot of report writing phone calls and emails, I was working longer and longer hours to keep up with my work load, coupled with doing 3-4 demonstrations of mediumship a week, I was not getting any adequate rest or quality time with Veronica, more than once I would get home at 7pm a quick meditate and tune in, and would be demonstrating mediumship by 7.30pm. During April 2022 I self published my collection of poetry titled Reflectionson Amazon UK.
Over time I was becoming more and more stressed and anxious, as I could not keep up with my caseload and the workload it generated, I was also having to take time off to do training, which was giving me less time to focus on my workload. I had already resigned once before but was talked out of it by the service manager, things were coming to a head as I was becoming more and more stressed and dreading going to work each day, I took a weeks holiday in July, to decide what I was going to do with my life, and whether I could cope with stress and anxiety, and continue to do my job also realising the stress and anxiety, was getting harder and harder to rise above, and this would have a very negative effect on my spiritual service and marriage, my mental health was effecting my physical health as I was finding it very hard to sleep.
I unloaded my worries and woes onto my spirit guides, Red Cloud advised me if I did not find balance soon in my life, I would become to ill and I would be no good to anyone, and it would cut my pathway short, and they with me would not be able to achieve future service, I was reminded when I worked for an agency working around my spiritual commitments, I was rested and the household finances did not suffer, this was a lightbulb moment for me, although I realised Red Cloud was stating the obvious, my stress and anxiety was really affecting my train of thought, I decided to resign from Two Saints and go back to working for an agency so I could earn money have a better quality of life, and be well and rested enough for my spiritual service. 11/08/22 was my last day of working for Two Saints, it was a frantic day trying to complete the tasks my service manager and unloaded on me that day, I was full of stress and anxiety, my service manager asked me to return as a relief I told her I would think about it, a colleague asked me if I would come back as a relief, I told her with the way I was feeling I would not be back, staff had a collection for me, I received a lovely farewell card a bunch of sun flowers 2 bottles of my favourite wine sauvignon blanc and a box of maltesers, I was touched by their generosity.
My colleague Louisa invited me for farewell meal and drinks after work, I picked her up at the hostel she worked at and ranted about the events of the day, but I was touched she wanted to say a proper farewell to me, the sun was shining we sat in a pub garden had a drink and a meal which was most welcome I dropped her off in Gosport after the meal and went home, feeling relief about leaving my job and sentimental about my time with Two Saints, a curious mixture of emotions. I took the following week off to meditate and rest to get my stress and anxiety under control, midweek I went back to driver hire and signed on with them, a temp to perm job with meals on wheels was mentioned, I told them that the hours suited me and the hourly rate was good, I had a current DBS certificate so I start straight away, 22/08/22 I started work with meals on wheels and I have not looked back.
I am currently applying to work for meals on wheels full time on a 22 hour contract, which accommodates my spiritual service, I am renewing my DBS certificate once that is done I will be full time with meals on wheels, my stress and anxiety did not dissappear, it took a lot of meditation and self healing before I felt myself again, so I say to all take the time to be kind to yourself especially with mental health, myself and Veronica had a lovely week in York, to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary 07/09/22, sadly HM The Queen passed away 08/09/22, myself Veronica and the whole nation felt her loss as she was the only Queen we had known throughout our lives from birth, whilst in York I was invited to demonstrate trance healing at Harrogate Spiritualist Church, which was an honour and a blessing to do, 11 people received healing that night, also people saw loved ones and guides appear in the cabinet.
Spiritually I have got busier and busier, I am very blessed to say my 2023 diary is full, 2022 has taught me that I am not 30 years old anymore and I cannot do now what I did then, work full-time and do 3 demonstrations of mediumship a week, I have not got the energy I had 32 years ago, but hopefully now I have things in place, whereby I have balance in all areas of my life and the energy to fulfill all my commitments, I have also learned that I am not as mentally tough as I thought I was, and that self care with mental health is just as important as physical health.
I released my ebook today titledReflections, it is my whole collection of poetry, with transcribed spirit trance teachings. It is available on Amazon cost £3.00 GBP.
Stephen Rowlands 