Tag: love

Darkest Before The Dawn 2025

2025 was a year of change and new beginnings for me, I had separated from my wife 15/10/24, I was living in a room in a shared house, hardly ideal living conditions for me. I was ashamed because I was 64 years old and I found myself washed up on the shore of life, starting from scratch once again, my house mates were half my age. I must admit to feeling a complete failure, but I had a roof over my head and a bed thankful that I was not homeless, I referred to my room as my bolt hole. Whilst I grieved for my marriage, and excited by a new relationship with my girlfriend Julie, this created juxtaposed emotions within me, sadness over my deceased marriage, and contemplating whether I should have entered into a new relationship so soon after separating from my wife. As I had only just started divorce proceedings in December 2024. I saw in the new year with Julie as we stood in the doorway of my digs watching the fireworks, smoking a cigar drinking whisky. I could only wonder what the new year would bring.

I found myself going through a maelstrom of emotions, Julie brought into my life a selfless unconditional love, that gave me the emotional support and healing that I needed, and kept me from sinking into depression and alcohol. I will be forever grateful for her presence in my life at that time, she kept me going when I felt all was lost. To my surprise during this time I found that my mediumship was getting stronger. I can only suggest that when I was living with the ex wife, that we were living in a state of inertia, now I was free from that state of inertia, vibrational energies around me had changed to becoming more vibrant, and I was able to reach up to spirit with a much clearer energy, that greatly improved my link to spirit. I now realise that at that time as it is now is a time of spiritual development, to keep moving forward no matter what was happening, to become at peace with myself taking my vibrational frequency to a higher level. I often tell people that we have to create the right energies for spirit to be able to communicate in, that energy is LOVE. My spiritual development is now developing love through awakening Christ consciousness within.

Before leaving the marital home, I applied for social housing with Hampshire County Council. After filling in the lengthy application form and proving that I had the right to apply for social housing in Hampshire. I was told it could take up to two years to get accommodation. I was pleased that my application had been accepted, and I had taken another step towards creating a new life, a life that gave me security and a forever home, I would bid on homes every Wednesday when homes were advertised. Working for meals on wheels I had delivered meals to many homes that were small and compact, I thought I would get one of those homes for the older person, they have what I needed a separate bedroom, lounge, bathroom, and kitchen. That I did not have to share with anyone, as I was going a bit stir crazy living in that room. 05/06/25 I was offered a property as I had a local connection through my work, 12/06/25 I went to view the property and signed for the keys to the property, it was a large flat near to where I work. I had taken on the tenancy of the flat a blank canvas that could be turned into my forever home, feeling that I had bitten off more than I could chew, as I had no money to decorate or buy white goods and furniture. But I could see the path was opening up in front of me, I had to go for it and move forward, working it out as I go.

A pension company kept emailing me, asking me to look at my pension with them, and decide on what to do with the money. I thought it was a small pension with only £500 to a £1000 in it, as I was in need of cash to invest in the decoration and kitting out of my new home. I decided to have a look at it, to my absolute surprise and delight, the pension was worth £16,400. I was very excited as I now had the money, to create and get everything I needed for my new home. As I had left my marital home with my clothes and DVD collection, I cashed in my pension and paid £4,100 in tax on my pension, this payment in tax I resent to this day, leaving me with £12,300. but enough to sort out my new home and new life. I was a bit daunted by this new project as I had never done anything like this before, 15/06/25 I gave my landlord one months notice on my room, so I had a month to transform my new home and move out of my room. I am useless at DIY so I advertised for a decorator with varying estimates, the decorator I picked decided not to show up, in desperation I put it on Facebook to ask if anyone knew of a decorator who could help me, a medium friend of mine suggested her husband Shawn, I contacted Shawn and he agreed to decorate my flat, he also agreed to build the flat pack wardrobe and install the white goods I had ordered. I will always be grateful to Shawn, for helping me out in my hour of need and for all his hard work. 15/07/25 I moved into my new home fully furnished and decorated.

The year of 2025 has been totally amazing, from down and demoralized the end of my marriage, to a complete new life with a new woman, I finally have a rock solid foundation to grow and become. As I realise I am becoming a new version of myself through spiritual development, since moving in I have opened a spiritual development circle, have done a trance sit, I hope people will visit my home for trance healing and spiritual guidance. throughout 2025 I have realised no matter how dark the day, spirit and the universe will assist us in our journey, if we put our greatest and highest good first, and keep moving forward rather than drowning in our hurt.

Stephen Rowlands 27/12/25

Consciousness = Thought = Vibration = Energy

We often talk about how life is treating us, we never ask the question of how are we treating life. I live in the knowledge that life is a state of heart and mind, we create our lives from our vibrational state of heart and mind, life is a inner creation rather than an outward experience of perception. All life forms on this planet are conscious with their own distinct vibrational frequency, we should not underestimate the power of our thoughts and emotions, as they are powerful vibrations, with the energy to change life around us like attracts like, as spirit teaches us thought is the most powerful thing in the universe.

To Be Or Not To Be Tis The Question, Whether It Is Nobler In The Mind, To Suffer The Slings And Arrows Of Outrageous Fortune, Or To Take Up Arms Against A Sea Of Troubles, And By Opposing End Them.

Hamlet.

All consciousness has freewill, we must be respectful of this powerful freedom of thought and emotion, and be mindful of the choices we make, as we are creating our lives, life moves forward in a constant rhythm in our world of physical matter. I realise that within the natural laws governing our planet, we must always be moving forward. One door closes another door will open, this is not just an old saying. I have realised this is a truth within natural law, the problems begin when we are banging on the closed door, rather than moving forward and preparing to go through the open door. Life in our physical world of matter, is about change for the evolution of our eternal soul.

We chose to live this life on earth for the evolution of our eternal soul, when we think in terms of eternity, our short life span on this earth is less than a blink of an eye. in this life we experience many changes in mind, body, and spirit. Such as growing young to old, relationships come and go, our beloved passes away, jobs and homes come and go. These are all times of change that cause us hurt and pain, yes we must embrace our hurt and pain, and ask the questions as to why we feel the way we do, what attachments have we formed, to give us greater insight to the spiritual truths, to help us to become aware of how to conduct our lives within the flow of natural and universal law. If we are constantly banging on the closed door, this will lead to our lives to stagnate and become a state of inertia.

Rather than preparing to walk through the open door to a new life and reality, nine months ago my marriage ended, when my ex wife told me she no longer loved me. Yes I was devastated as I loved my wife deeply, I moved from a comfortable home with a beautiful willow tree on the green, to a room in a shared house, 15/10/24 sharing the bathroom and kitchen. I left with my clothes and boxes of dvd’s. As I told my ex wife this was not my first rodeo I knew exactly what I must do. Whilst embracing my sadness I looked forward, knowing I must not go down in heart and mind as I needed my job to be able to afford to live, I had registered for social housing I was bidding on homes every Wednesday, this was creating energy going forward for my new life. this was a time of preparation of letting go of my marriage, and opening the door to a new life.

Myself and an old lady friend Julie, who contacted me to see how I was during my separation, became close as she supported me through my heartbreak. A Mazda salesman contacted me to see if I wanted to rent a brand new Mazda 3 as I could not afford a brand new Mazda 3. I picked up my new Mazda 3 05/03/25. I feel my spirit guides were working with me to create a new life, as myself and Julie had separately wanted to become closer, also I needed a car upgrade as I was travelling further afield in the service of spirit. I was becoming claustrophobic in my small room in a shared house, and resentful of my ex wife for putting me in that position. I knew this was negative energy to feel and it would hold me back from moving forward, I had to change this into a positive energy as positive balances negative in universal law, so I focused my thoughts and emotions into visualising myself in a new home.

In late May I was contacted by Winchester council offering me a flat, as I had a local connection through my job with meals on wheels. On 12/06/25 I signed the contract and got the keys to my new home, my new home was a blank shell with nothing in it. I was worried that I did not have the funds to create my new home, as I am retiring next year, pension companies were contacting me to see what I wanted to do with the money within the pensions. I thought they were worth around a £1000.00, I looked at one pension and to my total surprise and delight, this pension was worth £16,300, so I cashed in this pension after tax it was worth £12,400. this gave me the funds to decorate and buy everything I need for my new home. White goods, furniture, a bed with chaise longue, carpets, the whole kit and caboodle costing me around £11000.00. I moved into my new home 15/07/25, now I am looking forward to spending the rest of my days here. Life moves forward in a constant rhythm, we must become what we need to become, in heart mind and our actions, accept the door to the life we thought we wanted has closed and prepare to go through the open door to a new life. All this was achieved through the practice of spiritual teaching, and going with the flow of universal and natural law, our lives are what we are within.

Stephen Rowlands 30/07/27