My Grieving For Dad Helping Me To Become A More Compassionate Medium

For many years I could never understand why people, would be so sad for the loss of their loved ones in spirit, their grieving causing them so much emotional pain, and sadness years after their beloved ones, had passed over the veil into spirit. The people I speak of are spiritualists, I stood beneath the spiritualist banner there is no death, and I wrongly felt that the knowledge of the truth there is no death, would be comforting enough for the pain and sadness of grieving,  to cease but because I had not suffered the loss of a loved one, I did not understand the emotional kaleidoscope of grieving, even when people were getting messages via a medium, from there loved ones in spirit the pain and sadness still remained with them.

Whilst in spiritual development circle, an oriental spirit guide known to us as Li, came through his channel Ian Watts in trance, as he often did to give us some teaching of universal life in spirit. In his talk he was saying that we should not mourn our loved ones in spirit, as it is only the physical loss of our loved ones that we grieve for, and this to him grieving for our loved ones was selfish of us to do, he accepted that when we first lose a loved one there should be a period of mourning for the physical loss of the loved one, he went on to say that our loved ones are now in a realm of light, and are  living within the divine energy of universal and unconditional love. We should be happy for them and allow them to continue, there journey in spirit as they are truly now spirit, and we should love them as spirit beings, and not selfishly mourn their physical loss, over a long period of time.

I held onto Li’s teaching for years believing it was selfish to grieve, for the physical loss of our loved ones, although I never spoke of this teaching as I believed, it would cause more hurt to those who had lost loved ones, it is my role as a medium to bring upliftment to others through spiritual teachings, but looking at Li’s teaching from a spirit perspective, his teaching is correct  and I believe that this teaching, should be given totally from a spirit perspective, to those who are emotionally ready to receive it. As I have often thought we never see things from spirits side of life, and how it effects them in their interactions with us on earth, and in doing so this makes us the selfish ones.

Sadly my Dad passed over the veil into spirit 14/10/15, although his passing was expected as he was very ill, I stood by his bedside with my mother at Wexham Park Hospital, the doctor had just pronounced him physically dead, I held his hand and his voice loudly spoke to me in my head in his voice, “LOOK AFTER YOUR MOTHER” which was totally my Dad as he worships the ground my Mum walks on, my brother arrived and we said our farewells to my Dad, we went back to my mothers I was stunned it was as if time had stood still, but life was going on as everybody and everything was going about their daily business, I raised a glass of whiskey and ice Dads favourite drink to say cheers thanks for everything to him, Dads funeral was arranged for 03/11/15, to give friends from overseas a chance to assemble for his funeral, I took Mum to see Dad in the funeral home, as I stood over Dad in his coffin there was the real sickening energy of physical death, permeating deep into my gut, a feeling that stayed with me for a very long time, my mother said it is so cold in here Elwyn doesn’t like the cold, as she touched his cheek I said Mum he is not here this is just his shell, I took my mother home and prepared Dads Eulogy, as I was nominated to give it, as I was used to talking in front of people, my family sees that I have my uses.

                               SIGNS

The week after my fathers passing to spirit, I had three demonstrations of mediumship to do, I debated with myself whether I should do them or not, as I was an emotional and mental wreck functioning only to be strong  for family, and cope with the rigours of my job, I made the decision to cancel my platform bookings, I knew the churches would understand. Queen was my dads favourite band, I got into the shuttle bus to go pick up staff, I switched on the radio The Show Must Go On by Queen, came blasting out of the radio this could only have been my Dad, as he was a very selfless man, and wanted his children to live life to the full, you may scoff but I know this is the truth.

I have often thought that the belief that our loved ones in spirit, leave a penny when they are near to be a fairytale, a few weeks after my Dads passing to spirit, I called out to my Dad, come on Dad if you are near give me a sign. I proceeded to hoover my flat, I had hoovered every square inch of my flat, as I was putting the hoover away, I looked down and there was a shiny penny looking up at me from the floor. How could I have missed that my flat is tiny, I couldn’t have missed it, no its just a fairytale, in the morning I walked down the bottom of the stairs, opened the door to go to work, and there was a shiny penny looking up at me from the paving slab, now I believe spirit leaving pennies as signs to be true.

                     REALISATION

My dad makes his presence felt most days I speak to him every morning, but I still miss him wish he was still here to talk to and share a joke with, and yes Li that makes me selfish, I live in the physical world where we need our loved ones near, we need their physical presence, as much as it is wonderful to receive a message from our loved ones in spirit, nothing can take away our need to have them physically with us. As a medium I have given the messages and watched the tears flow, there is nothing I can do to dry those tears, the spiritualist message of there is no death, has failed, but with compassion and spiritual teaching we can comfort and uplift.

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Every Heart

Every Heart knows the wisdom of love
Every Heart opens in humility
Every Heart can serve and be kind
Every Heart shines in compassion
Every Heart serene in Peace
Every Heart can feel afraid
Every Heart can sing a song of woe
Every Heart can feel alone
Every Heart finds strength in faith
Every Heart sways in Indecision
Every Heart should speak it’s truth
Every Heart can be confused
All my hearts I give to you
For my love in Honour True
Stephen Rowlands Poem Updated 11/05/20

 

 

Meditation

Over the years I have asked many people if they meditate, because I feel it could help them, or spirit feels it would help them to meditate, mostly I get the same answer. Its to difficult, my mind wanders , I have to much on my mind to meditate, I have not got the time to meditate. So I have decided to write this blog, to outline a simple way to meditate.

Meditation is a great way to relax and focus our minds, to find answers to questions, or to calm turbulent thoughts and emotions. The first thing I was taught  about meditation, is you cannot have imagination without an image, so meditation is simply day dreaming. And that is something we all do, but unlike day dreaming where our minds create the mental images we would like, such as winning the lottery, or getting a date with a film or pop star, being with someone we miss, or our penchant for looking back into the past, and the many what ifs that arise from mentally living in the past, our minds create the mental images of the most satisfying possibilities.

Meditation is in fact focussed day dreaming, whereby we mentally get the image we want, within our minds eye and allow everything else to take place without our input. A good starting meditation is to imagine yourself sitting alone on a beach, on a warm sunny day mentally put yourself on the beach, focus on smelling the sea air, hearing the waves lapping on the shore, watching seagulls flying above the waves, what other sights, sounds, and senses are you aware of. We only need to meditate for a few minutes to get the benefit of it.

Being perfect at meditation is not the point of meditation, levitating our minds  to a more peaceful, higher level of awareness is the aim of meditation. We are exercising mental muscles we don’t often use. But like any exercise, the more we do it the better we get at it, if we are distracted by other thoughts. Like work, or what to have for dinner, financial and emotional worries, discard those thoughts let them pass and get back to your beach the more frequently you meditate, I suggest 2 or 3 times a week, distractions will become less and less.

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 A simple exercise  I use to prepare for meditation, to help focus my thoughts, is what is known as stepping into the moment, this is what I find best do, and works for me.

1, Find a comfy chair make yourself comfortable

2, Shut your eyes and inhale through your nose, and gently exhale from your mouth, this helps relax our muscles and stimulates our minds, to a slightly higher state of awareness, to prepare for meditation.

3, Realise it is only us that makes the noise with our thoughts and feelings, sit quietly and realise that you have peace and tranquility all around you. It is only us that makes the noise so put your thoughts and feelings to one side, it does not matter if a bomb is falling on your house, step into the peace and tranquility  of the moment. This can also be difficult to achieve, but the more we practice meditation we will find it easier to be in the moment.

4, Once in the moment or your feeling more relaxed, remember to discard any day to day thoughts, worries. anxieties, aches and pains. Not easy to do but practice makes perfect, I have been meditating for years, and still get distracted but don’t be disheartened, just get back to the image you started with.

Now your ready to visualise where you want to be, it can be anywhere but make sure it is a positive image, like sitting on a beach, or walking down a path in the forest, focus on what you can see. hear, sense, smell, within your image dont tamper with it let it play like a movie.

Meditation teaches us and helps us to discover our trueselves, other than what we have conditioned ourselves to become. Helping us to become a better version of ourselves, so honesty with ourselves is a priceless tool in meditation.

If you the reader meditates using the above suggestions, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me Email- stephen@thelifeandtimesofstevieboy.blog I will be happy to discuss the above steps with you.

There are also many guided meditations you can buy online, I hope this blog has helped. Stephen